Guide to bravado for the first time smuggler

As you stash
your stash
in a sports bag
' reassure yourself '
you know what you're doing.

At the ferry boarding area
chat to the stewards
about sea conditions
' don't go too far '
and smile.

Take the Spaniards hand.
Never talk in specifics.
Throw the cocaine around
as you might a luke-warm
hot water bottle.

When asked to sample the goods
cut up two ridges
that look like vapour trails from a private jet.
Be sure and use a fifty as you show him how
in one swift sniff.

Pretend it's nothing new:
a briefcase full of cash,
stacked in bricks.
You're used to it.
You're not nervous;

explain that your hands sweat
because you're not yet
acclimatized
to the Spanish heat.
Settle him down as he repeats

the word acclimatized as if
it is a ridiculous word for a drug baron
to use. Know
that a palm on his shoulder
will not calm him one jot.

When he lifts his shirt
for a very good reason
do not look like you are going to die.
Chuckle a little
as if the gun is his mistake,

not your problem.
Give the impression that your boss
will send the heavies;
show no surprise at being shot
in both knees.