Five Fingers

Just a moment
I have a few words to say
While you all weren't looking
I forgot to pay
I didn't buy these goods
I tossed them into my bag
I acted casually and smiled
While I fled with these rags
You wouldn't have noticed
Had I not gotten up and proclaimed
So focused on your shopping
I think you're the ones to blame
You ignored me in the dressing room
When I shouted "I'm a thief.
No one said a word, not even
A gasp of disbelief
The shoes I'm wearing aren't mine
I left my shoes in the box
I'm about to gallop home
Wearing these stolen socks
These slacks are nice.
Just the perfect size
Thankfully I didn't spend the money
To hide my thunderous thighs
I acquired a purse full of things
Jewelry and make-up to enhance
My tiny bag was bulging
Yet I never received a glance
Christmas is coming
This year I didn't spend a dime
Every gift was stolen
Just in the nick of time