Why women like me should not be allowed to drive

1. Because I've had it for two months and have already scratched the car three times in its first week, and blamed it on anyone but me

2. Because I never check the oil or water, and only bother to fill it up with petrol once the light starts blinking desperately and the engine starts to slputter

3. Because I can't park to save my life

4. I think it's a 4x4 and speed over bumps, holes, into pavements and lampposts. And then get shocked when i see the dents

5. I never let another car pass but get insulted when they wont make way for me

6. I drive slowly in the middle of the lane

7. I have no idea how to change a tyre or check the engine

8. I can barely do turns without skidding or running into the cars next to me

9. I almost never tip the parking valets because I rarely have money on me

10. I left my car lights on last night, though firmly denying it to my father, and woke up today to find a completely dead battery and a very smug "I told you so!" parent.