A few of me limericks...

There was an old prophet called Moses
who didn't like getting wet toeses.
When he got to the sea
he would part it, 'cos he
was much cleverer than one supposes.
*
A DIY girl called Amanda
bought herself an electrical sander
and used it to smooth
all the pine tongue-and-groove
that she'd used to construct her verandah.
*
There was a young lady named Carole
whose stomach was shaped like a barrel
which wasn't so bad,
but it meant that she had
awful problems in choosing apparel.
*
An unfortunate chap named McGrath
fell asleep while he lay in the bath,
which shrivelled his skin
from his toes to his chin
and shrank his John Thomas by half.
*
A myopic artist named Peel
portrayed naked women with zeal.
He explained: "The detail
Is achieved using braille '
all the bits I can't see, I just feel.
*
There was a young fellow named Titian
who decided to make it his mission
to follow his heart
and take lessons in art,
which was rather a splendid decision.
*
A stunning stunt-woman named Cholmondley,
while extremely attractive and colmondley,
didn't mind getting bruised
so was quite often used
as a double for Joanna Lolmondley.