What I Should Say to You (in a poem)

I'm sorry to moan and I'm sorry to bitch,
But chasing you now is giving me stitch,
I'm fed up of waiting and fed up of this
Irredeemable time I've spent making me sick.

I'm fed up of smiling when I feel I should cry,
I'm tired of the front and I'm tired of the lie
I tell with my words to you boastful and brave,
But I'm not a bold man and it's me you should save.

The way that I help solve the problems you see,
Are false advertising - the problem is me,
I'm smart and I'm funny and these things you know,
But the things that you'll love are the things I don't show.

I want to be cool and I want to be free,
To say that I love you and hope you love me,
To stop you from sighing at me when you get
Annoyed that I haven't got round to it yet.

I need to be sure though you give me no sign,
That I could be yours and that you could be mine,
These throwaway verses are all very well,
But all I can think about now is your smell.

The tenderest of kisses I want to bestow,
Upon your sweet lips but I'm feeling as though
To take such a leap would be too much to ask,
How would you cope while I'm wearing this mask?

If I get what a want I won't know how to keep it,
If you gave me your love now I doubt you would want it
Holding you back while I'm figuring out,
What my life stands for and what I'm about.

It all boils down to desire against logic,
You're much too complex and I'm too neurotic,
Despite all these hurdles I want you to know,
Each second we share makes my confidence grow.

And when I am brave you will know how I feel;
The love that is burning's a love that is real,
I'm dying to sleep with a smile on my face,
I want to be safe in your loving embrace.