As I Lay Dying

Something – or rather somebody, yes I think it’s somebody – is pulling closer and further into the ground. I can sense it, but I can't touch it. I can even feel it, but that's just it. The cold is sipping through my clothes ... I can feel that too. Soon it’s going to envelope me, and then I’ll be no more.

Arms, I sense, are pulling me on a gurney. I don't know whose they are ... I don't even think I want to know. Faces are staring down at me, talking and yelling down at me; I simply stare past them at the moving ceiling. This whole business is getting to me, and my eyes don’t feel any bit like falling asleep … at least not yet anyway.
Am I feeling panicky? NO. I've been in this situation before. In my kind of life, being shot in the gut is often something you look forward to, even though it doesn't always have your name written on the bullet. You best believe it’s going to get you whenever it should.

Come on you guys, don't take me into no doctors' room, please. You and I both know they don’t save anybody. Probably wound up stealing your vital organs and selling it to another poor sucker on some other dying bed that’s just searching for a right to live ... Hey Johnny! Hey, I’m talking to you boy! Mind stopping the gurney for a sec, thank you. I got to use the rest room ...My bladder's all full ... it's dripping all over me right now...
Do they hear me, no! But I still ain't panicked. I've been here before. Just as when I got shot once down on Winston Street. Hey, you remember that one, right, Sammy? When was that...ten, twelve years ago? Back in early high school, right? You was there with me when those ingrate Spurs gang fell on us. Yeah, I remember you was just about shitting on your pants, especially when One-eyed Mulley grabbed your shirt and told you to cough out all your dough...

But we showed them, didn't we, Sammy? Hey, Sammy, you still there with me? All right, I thought you'd already bailed out on me ... so, like I was saying, we sure did show those punks, right? First you busted Mulley in the chin and I kicked Dippey in the balls and we took off down that alley behind old man Paul's grocery store. But then those dudes had wheels of their own and they sure caught up with us. I still remember how scared I was when Mulley took out that hunting knife of his and was about coming to give it to you when I stepped forward and took it instead - what the hell, no need for you to apologise, after all, what are friends for, right? Right. Spent a month and a half in St. Mary's Hospital for it though. Now that was a real kicker. But man, those nurses sure as hell are pretty ... I remember one of them, Nurse Sally. Used to buy me ice cream everyday. Chocolate, if I remember. Had the loveliest skin I'd ever seen. Told me she wanted to become a real doctor and operate on poor sick folks like me, could you believe that? I wonder is she's still here in this hospital right now...
And how about you, Sammy? Still chasing all those pretty skirts down at the Lakewood Cemetery? I really missed you - we sure had we some nice times, right?

Right-de-oh-daddy-oh!

How long have I been lying here? An hour? Two? Hard to know the world's moving outside when you're inside lying flat on your back. Someone just switched the telly on. I hear voices laughing - at me? - don't know where they're coming from. Probably under me, I'm sure.

Right-de-oh again, daddy-oh!

Come on, Sammy, you got to quit saying that. That stuffs' dead as dinosaur. Now you got to sound a little more hip and modern. Besides, what am I here wasting my time talking to you about - you've been dead for more than a year now.

I'm just here chilling and wasting time to come see you on the dark side.

The cold is back ... boy, is it freezing out there or is it just me! Lord, I don't want to die now … Hold my hand, Johnny. Where you at, Johnny – I can’t feel you! Things’re starting to get heavy … I don't want to close my eyes now...

... but I have to.

Would somebody – anybody – mind turning off the lights … thank you.