The Auditors

"Well, here it is." Kirsch looked up from the sofa bed, impassively.
Sally was standing, looking at him expectantly; she was wearing tight
hot pants and a sparkly bra-top. Sally was 30, desperately trying to
look 20, one minute she was vampish the next minute coy baby doll.
Kirsch stared at her, enjoying her curves, he grinned wolfishly, "Here
'what' is Sally?' Sally stamped her foot, frustrated at his teasing,
"it, Kirsch, it!" Kirsch laughed happily, "You look great baby, I love
your new outfit." Sally moved towards Kirsch, he pulled her on top of
him and they embraced, he rolled her over so that he was pinning her
down on the bed and kissed her passionately. They continued, their
movement automatic and practised; an intimate familiarity meant Kirsch
new exactly where to touch Sally.

**********************************************************************

Six months earlier. Kirsch was planet side and running. They had
'Xena's,' an illegal flesh bar. He was just about to go into a booth
with a rather busty blond type when the front door had smashed in
announcing the presence of a group of rather serious looking men in
suits, accompanied by some other rather serious, and significantly more
muscle bound men, sporting guns.

Kirsch was running for his life, if he was caught that was it. He
already had two minor sex infringements on his record, one more and it
was statutory execution. It's not that the government disliked sex, in
fact the biggest selling T.V. network was sex channel 603, it's just
they liked everything regulated and controlled, or to put it another
way, heavily taxed. Kirsch couldn't stand the government sanctioned
flesh bars; in the illegal bars the girls were just that little bit
more desperate, and Kirsch liked desperate, desperate was willing to do
depraved.

***********************************************************************

Kirsch looked at the clock, 16:43. Sally was lying beside him
peacefully. She still had a rosy flush on her cheeks and breasts; she
always got that when she had an orgasm. He smiled down at her and held
her with an intense stare. He was trying his smouldering look that was
so successful in seductions. He gently cupped one of Sally's breasts
and leaned in to kiss her. A look of pleasure came over Sally's face,
she returned his embrace then stopped him suddenly, "The auditors, it's
our review today." Kirsch rolled off Sally and sat up staring at her
coldly. "Why do you always do that Sally, you have to spoil things
don't you." She sighed and turned away from him, staring blankly at the
magenta walls stained by grease and the grime of years of neglect. She
hated their bed-sit prison, no window, bare walls, a grimy table for a
kitchen, door permanently locked. "You know we can't Kirsch, what would
they think."

Kirsch got up and went over to the televiewer, the only other piece of
furniture in the room. He flicked the on button; the picture slowly
came into view through the static interrupting the low thrum of
machinery, the hypnotic sound that dominated their apartment block. He
tried changing the channels, no luck, permanently fused on sex channel
603. The auditors had promised to get that fixed since the last review
three months before, but nothing ever got done here. Kirsch had seen
this film before, or at least something very similar, mind you, they
all started to look the same after a while, only a certain amount of
orifices and a certain amount of things to insert. The faces changed,
the action didn't. Kirsch looked down at Sally again, she was staring
at the wall still, he wanted her so much, but that was the problem.

***********************************************************************

Kirsch could feel his heart pounding in his ears, it felt so loud he was
convinced the man with the granite face would hear it and catch him.
Kirsch was crouching behind a large portabin at the back of a street of
shops. Granite face stood just a few yards away facing the road and
looking from side to side. He could tell exactly what role granite
face was employed to do, those rippling muscles that made his suit,
however well tailored, look so bad fitting, and that barely concealed air of vicious aggression. Kirsch felt a cold sweat drench him; he
shivered with fear. He decided to risk moving, sneaking away whilst
the meat monster was looking the other way. Kirsch stood up and tried
to prise his way around the back of the bin as quietly as possible. A
painful scraping sound echoed down the suddenly quiet road as Kirsch
desperately tried to fit through the gap. Slowly Granite face turned
around and stared at Kirsch with dull, unblinking eyes. Kirsch froze,
prized between the wall and the portabin; Granite face looked strangely
babyish face on, Kirsch thought, as the realisation that he was caught
set in.

***********************************************************************

In a darkened room, lit only by the luminescence of the view screens,
Auditor one coughed. Auditor two had been staring at the screens in a
trance for the last ten minutes. "It's time," he said. Auditor two
turned to look at him and nodded grimly. The two men had pale, almost
albino skin, with thinning dark hair and cold expressionless faces that
marked them out as being something not quite human. Their species had
ceased being considered human twenty six generations ago. Genetically
they had the same DNA as humans, the difference was that sometime in
the past someone had changed the switches in their genetic coding. The
Auditors species had been engineered so that their emotion centres
where turned off. It was done to provide the ailing planet siders with
a new willing workforce who could be cold and analytical when needed,
had a penchant for methodical work, never got tired and never
complained. At least, twenty-six generations ago, that had been the
plan.

As Auditor two stood up, auditor one fixed on the view screen of the
inmates they were going to see. Section SO, cell 3a. The middle row
of view screens were all for the Sexual Obsession block. The row
bellow was a mix of SM, Sado-Masochists and BF, Bestiality Fetishists.
Sexual Obsession was the largest division of the institute, forming the
bulk of the material for the channels timetables, but the row above,
GS, Gender Subversion, was also very popular. Orbital station one held
over sixty cells for Sexual Perversion Patients. They had moved off
planet nine generations ago, after the great revolution. It had been
an agreement of the peace treaty with the humans. In less than a
generation the Auditors had made a proposal to the planet siders that
would mould the govern ship of the planet for generations. They
offered to remove all the humans who had genetic flaws of a sexual
nature. It had been the bugbear of a particularly zealous governor
general at the time.

***********************************************************************

Kirsch looked around the room. It was bare apart from the desk with two
chairs, placed in the centre of the room. There was a camera in the
top corner of the room, near the door; Kirsch could sense them watching
him. They were making him sweat, he knew. He didn't know why they
didn't just get it over with, he was caught and the sentence was death,
three strikes and you're out, that's the law. The lock in the door
clicked open, Granite face looked at him with his baby face, one of the
suits stood behind him as if he needed a barrier to protect him from
Kirsch. "Would you like a coffee Mr Kirsch?" Suit walked in and sat
opposite him, he gave Kirsch a reassuring smile. Granite face walked a
pace into the room and shut the door behind him. He loomed silently
behind suit. Kirsch glanced nervously at Granite face. "Oh don't worry
Mr Kirsch, Lionel is here for my protection more than anything." Kirsch
laughed at the idea, feeling strangely at ease with suits gentle
manner. "We have been watching you, Mr Kirsch, for a long time." Suit
put his hands together and gave Kirsch an enigmatic smile. "You
needn't look so worried, I have a proposal for you that I think you may
find very interesting. You are just the man we need."

***********************************************************************

The couple in cell 3a fascinated Auditor one. At that moment they were
both sitting staring at the wall. Their room only had a sofa bed and a
table by the door. The couple were both sitting on the bed, naked,
staring at opposite walls. As a socio-scientist Auditor one took great
interest in the decline in relationships of the institutions subjects.
This couple had both been lured to the station under the same pre-text.
When they were arrested for sex crimes the planet side liaison
division had convinced them that they were vitally important people who
had been closely monitored for years to see if they had the right
qualities. They were told that their interpersonal skills were
superior and the government wanted them to train counter intelligence
agents. Their job was to assess possible agents for their seduction
techniques and social skills. The prospective agents were supposed to
be experts in gaining trust by assuming trusting relationships by
superior social and sexual skills. This was the story fed to most of
the inmates in the SO block. Every one of them convinced themselves
that they were assessing their partner and that they were the ones who
were in control. Because they were all genetic failures they couldn't
help themselves, sexual obsession took over, providing Sex Channel 603
with unlimited material.

The couple in 3a wouldn't be at the institution for much longer. The
signs were there for Auditor one to see. Irreparable damage was being
done to their relationship; it was only a matter of time before all
physical and emotional contact ceased. As with all sexual obsessives
they failed to make the required emotional attachment needed for a
solid relationship; their relationship was firmly rooted in physical
pleasure. The couple were obsessed with each other physically, so much
so that they could rarely say no, but they didn't actually like each
other, they were incapable of making an emotional attachment.

***********************************************************************

Kirsch got up, he better get dressed, he thought. Sally was already
putting her outfit back on. It was almost time for their review. The
Auditors would be here soon and Kirsch would have to give his verdict
on Sally. Would she make a good counter intelligence agent or not. He
hated to think about it because he knew what the answer had to be. How
could he pass Sally when he found it so hard to like her? In a strange
way he thought he loved her, even though he didn't like her. He just
couldn't stop himself; every time he looked at her he wanted her. In
the last three months Kirsch and Sally had lived out the wildest
depraved dreams. Every fantasy he had ever dreamed had been acted out,
every position thought of, every orifice used. The best thing about it
was the government sanctioned it, everything he had ever been arrested
for and now he was being employed to do it. He just hoped that after
he failed Sally they would give him another student to assess.

***********************************************************************

Auditor one and two were late for their review meeting. Auditor one
looked at his watch in annoyance. They were late because one of the
inmates in the SM block had gone too far again. He had been obsessed
with using razor blades as part of foreplay, this time it had proved
fatal. The clean up team were sorting it now. The only comfort was
that the viewing figures for that particular event had been a record
for the Sado Masochism hour on channel 603. They would be able to make
millions with re-runs and by leasing the viewing rites to terrestrial
channels. The Auditors turned into the corridor of the Sexual
Obsessives block. They reached door 3a and unlocked the palm lock.
The couple inside looked up at them expectantly.

***********************************************************************

The door to the room opened, Kirsch and Sally both looked up from the
bed at the same time. Two figures stood in the doorway. There was
something strange about these people who called themselves 'Auditors.'
Kirsch felt uneasy about working for such strange creatures. They
reminded him of the legends of the genetic wars centuries before, when
a sub human slave race revolted against their human masters. He had
never been particularly hot on history but he seemed to remember that
the humans won and the genetic freaks were wiped out, still there was
something strangely inhuman about the two men that stood at the door.
They wore black suits in the same style as suit and Granite face, but
they looked almost albino, there skin was so pale. They were both
balding badly and had pathetic wipe over hairstyles in a vain attempt
to cover it up. The Auditors drifted into the room letting the door
slide shut behind them. Auditor one looked at Sally, "Miss Grace, could
I have your report please?" Kirsch whirled to look at Sally, then back
to the Auditor who had spoken, "What report? I'm the one who's
supposed to give a report." Auditor two looked at Kirsch, "In good time
Mr Kirsch." Auditor one, "Miss Grace please." Kirsch looked at Sally
again. She was sitting up next to him on the bed; he could see tears
running down her cheeks.

Almost whispering, she said, "Fail." She looked guiltily at Kirsch, The
Auditor nodded, then they both looked at Kirsch. "Now Mr Kirsch, your
report please," said Auditor two. Kirsch was speechless for a minute;
his mind was racing. He was the one who made the report wasn't he? He
was the one that had been sent to the institute to assess possible
counter intelligence agents, wasn't he? He looked up at the Auditor,
not knowing what to think, "Fail," he said, thinking he still had a job
to do, keeping his professional objectivity.

***********************************************************************

The Auditors looked down at the couple, it was as Auditor one had
suspected; they were nearly at crisis point. Soon they would produce
no viable viewing material for the channel, even the physical bonds
would break. He nodded at Auditor two and they turned to leave the
couple on their own. They would be under close review for the next
month; if the situation continued to decline termination would be
inevitable.

***********************************************************************

Kirsch seemed to stare at Sally for an eternity. She just stared back,
they both looked stunned and shattered. "What the fuck is going on
Sally?" "I was about to ask you the same question." "What did they tell
you, when they brought you here?"

***********************************************************************

The view screens again. Auditor one was watching the couple in 3a.
They had talked for hours, going over possibilities, conspiracies.
They still hadn't realised why they were here, they never would. After
talking the familiar behaviour pattern had set in again, they were
naked, currently on the 7:30 live broadcast to 2.6 billion terrestrial
viewers. They would have to be watched closely though, in the
experience of Auditor one realisation of an inmates situation often
resulted in a brief honeymoon period, followed by the final
irretrievable breakdown of relations, resulting in termination.
Auditor one hoped it wouldn't happen this time though, he quite liked
watching the couple in SO block 3a.