I Was There! (Nostalgia Comp)

I shouldn't really have been there and but for the intervention of the Furies I wouldn't have been. I won't pretend that I'm not glad to have witnessed an event that changed the world but if the plans of their Lordships of the Admiralty had held good, I would not have been there. To this day I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand I'm glad things turned out the way they did, but on the other, the experience was so horrifying that at one and the same time I wished I hadn't been there. Now, I can see this presents something of a paradox so let me explain what this is all about.

We were sailing from the naval base at Menorca bound for Plymouth with dispatches for The Admiralty in London, when a sloop from the Mediterranean Station came alongside. A Lieutenant was hoisted aboard and soon afterwards The Captain ordered a change of course. It didn't take long for the word to flash around the ship that we were now headed for Cape Trafalgar to pick up more dispatches, these from The Admiral of the Fleet, Lord Nelson. The very thought of joining a fleet of which he was the commander sent a thrill of excitement around the small ship in seconds. If you sailed with Nelson, you fought with Nelson and you won battles with Nelson. If you could choose any commander in the entire British Navy to sail with, it would be Nelson and my ship had been diverted to join his fleet. If we only stayed with them for a few hours we would always be able to say we sailed with Nelson. Every sailor in the fleet would have felt as we did. Our frigate never sailed faster than she did for the next two days.

The sight that greeted us on the eve of the second day's sailing was awe-inspiring. Gigantic men-o'-war standing like castles out of the sea, with many smaller ships strung out across the horizon as far as the eye could see from our topmast and then some. Never had I seen such a gathering of warships, it was obvious that a mighty battle was in prospect. Another couple of hours sailing and we were alongside H.M.S.Victory. A hailer from her decks instructed my Captain to send a lieutenant to collect dispatches for The Admiralty in London. I was the senior lieutenant on board so it fell to me to be hoisted up the mountainous side of the flagship. Arriving on the main deck I saluted the bridge and having been given permission to "Come aboard" proceeded across open spaces cleared for action. There was an eerie silence broken only by the sighing of the wind in the rigging, the grumbling of cannon being moved across wooden decks and men speaking in hushed voices, tension could be felt in the very air we breathed.

I hadn't reached the Purser's cabin, or where the cabin would normally be when the ship was not at battle stations, when a cry from the crow's nest "Sail Ho, starboard bow" rang out. As if waiting for the call the ship came alive in an instant, men ran from under the protective sides of the huge ship and climbed into the rigging to see what sail had been sighted. Captain Hardy completely ignoring the small frigate waiting patiently for my return far below his bridge, gave the order to set all sail and with her sails filling in the light breeze the vast ship began to gather speed at a surprising rate. I watched helplessly as my ship fell away from the side of the gigantic bulk of HMS Victory. If there was to be a battle I was now going to be part of it! My stomach tightened as it always did at the prospect of danger.

What happened next has been woven into the fabric of English naval history with far more skill and eloquence than I could ever muster. Trafalgar! The very name conjures up images of great battleships with guns blazing; sails ripped and torn, masts splintered and hanging at crazy angles, Spanish and French men-o'-war sinking and all around ships of all shapes and sizes burning fiercely before disappearing beneath choppy seas. Worst of all were the cries of the sailors. The wounds inflicted by the flying wooden splinters were as bad as those caused by cannon balls screaming through the closely packed ranks around the guns and the damage created by both were horrendous in the extreme. I wondered what had happened to my own ship. Had she been sunk or had she been ordered to stay outside the main attacking force so that she would be ready to carry news of the outcome of the battle to their Lordships at the Admiralty? I didn't find out until many hours after.

In the meanwhile, I saw him die! Admiral Lord Nelson…I saw him die! I was on the main deck when the battle started. Placed under the command of Victory's First Lieutenant, I set to with the teams manning the guns and, after deafening cannon exchanges with the enemy we needed bandages for those that been wounded. I went to the surgeon myself rather than divert one of Victory's gunners from his task, they were far more valuable at that moment than me. I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw, as I made to leave the gloomy orlop deck, Admiral Lord Nelson being carried down to the surgeon for attention. The expressions on the faces of the officers around him told me his wounds were serious but, like them I couldn't believe that they would be fatal. This was after all Lord Nelson. They couldn't kill him could they? ….he was invincible….Nelson…

As I mounted the gangway to return to my station at the gunports on the starboard side of the great ship I knew that they had. My last memory of that awful time was seeing Captain Hardy lean down to listen more closely to what The Great Man wanted to say. I saw hardened seamen with tears streaming down their faces. To maintain morale I tried to keep the devastating news from the gun crews but on a man o' war news travels fast and they already knew. It seemed to have the effect of driving every sailor into a fury that bode ill for every enemy ship in their line of fire.

I looked out through the gun ports and the scene has stayed with me in every detail since and will do so forever. The French flagship Redoutable had struck it's colours and all the other ships in the Spanish and French fleet were following suit. The battle was over and the English Fleet had carried the day, but at what a price! Gradually the gunfire died away. The stunning silence that followed was broken only by the desperate cries of the wounded, and those seeking rescue from the choppy seas around the sinking or burning ships. Occasionally there was a mighty explosion as the powder magazine on one of the burning ships shattered what remained of the hulk.

It was late the following afternoon before I was finally able to return to my own ship. My Captain, cursing his 'rotten luck at not being able to take part in the battle,' had been ordered to stand off the Cape and await the outcome of the battle, then send in a cutter to take me off together with such packages as Captain Hardy or Admiral Collingwood deemed necessary. I left Victory in a state of so much damage I wondered if those seamen still able to move after their exertions would be able to repair her sufficiently to steer. Truth to tell I was still in a state of shock at what I had seen and was simply going through the motions in an effort to gather my wits sufficiently to give a sensible account of my involvement in the battle to my Captain. He would need it for the ship's log.

In the relative calm of my tiny cabin I took my pen and began to write.

May it please your Lordships.
I, Lieutenant Robert Jennings. R.N. First Lieutenant on board HMS Nostalgia off Cape Trafalgar. Dated October 24th 1805. have the honour to report………….

It is worth noting that once again the Furies intervened. Neither the original packages, nor those from Captain Hardy and Admiral Collingwood ever reached The Admiralty. My ship H.M.S.Nostalgia sank in the fierce storm that sprang up a day or so after the Battle of Trafalgar. The same storm finished off many of the ships damaged beyond repair. The accounts of the battle that did reach London were carried by much larger ships, as were the survivors. I was on one of them. I still remember that awful, wonderful, terrifying, never-to-be-forgotten day with nostalgic pride. I was there! END