It Was An Average Week

My whole city sent me branches
when, on Monday I thought I was missing
out on the Poplars dangling their new earrings.

No one crossed the yellow line
on Tuesday when I was late by minutes
so we’d all shrug sorry – say: temporary delays

together and bosses across London
would all agree: god damn those awful trains
something simply must be done - here have a work car.

Wednesday was nothing special.
When I realised I hadn’t washed my hair
warm monsoon rains changed course to clean it.

On Thursday, oh it was horrible -
I forgot to watch my favourite programme
but they showed it an hour later on +1 specially

and said: calm down. Don’t worry
we’ll release it early onto DVD, we’ll give you
the complete box set, just answer this simple question.

Don’t even get me started
on bloody Friday. As far as I am concerned
That day no longer exists; it’s just a very long imitation.

Saturday wasn’t much better
only five of my numbers came up
on the Roll-Over-National-Lottery Jackpot.

Now it’s Sunday already
and things couldn’t get much worse:
the microwave’s exploded and I came on my period.