In The Trenches
By Bradene
Tue, 11 Nov 2008
- 1364 reads
5 comments
The day became a wall of noise and fear
as death drew ever-closer hour on hour;
fear of cowardice turned his belly sour
and haunted eyes squeezed out a salty tear.
Bullets flew and whizzed past this young man’s head,
entrails loosened, as he longed to cower
inside himself, instead found the power
to fight back, through mud and slime bloodied red
with the brains of comrades he had slept by.
He fought to keep his meagre breakfast down,
scrambling over the top with dignity;
knowing deep within he would surely die
upon this piece of scarred earth, reddish brown,
yet never knowing of his victory.
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Comments
Hauntingly sad and poignant,
Hauntingly sad and poignant, such great imagery, I could not highlight one particular line that stood out because they all did.
Don't like the comma after 'yet' in the ultimate line, though.
J x
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I agree hands down with
Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
I agree hands down with Jennifer. Such a moving poem, beautifully told.
Tina xx
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Yes, much better. I think
Yes, much better. I think you should send it to the Poppy Appeal people.
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