The Udder Side of the Story

‘ So how did I get here? I was the most productive member of that farm, after all. It’s his fault. That damn boy. His mother always spoiled him. No sense - of responsibility, or for business. We were on our way to market, Jack and I. I was feeling low: he was completely un-moo-ved
by my moo-d. Suddenly this guy in a parti-colored suit appears coming from the udder direction. I didn’t know the circus was in town. So he collars Jack.

- ‘Hey, fine fellow! How now to your brown friend, in likewise manner!’

What a way to talk, huh? Well, this guy couldn’t stop: he talked fast and loose and must have had an ox-tongue to keep it moo-ving so. Anyways, he says to Jack.

-‘ Fellow mine, I have some things that should be thine.’

See, there he goes again. I mean, who talks like that outside of fairy tales, y’know? It’s like, dumb! Anyhoo, Jack perks up as the joker beckons him closer and shows him a handful of I can’t see what. There’s some moo dickering and the next thing I know Jack is mouthing some doggerel about ‘magic beans’ and laughing boy is leading me off to the abattoir!.

Don’t that beat all? Say, what the hell is one a' those anyway?’