Liar in the blood

By Hal 9000

Thu, 31 Dec 2009

515 reads

Born into a family of liars
I realized from an early age
I was to carry the torch as my father
and my father’s father
and my father’s father’s father… you get the idea!
I have tried to break the cycle and fight this disease
but alas, it is in my blood
and however hard I try
whoppers flow out of my mouth
I have done everything from:
Saving a plane from crashing…
Wrestling a bear…
To being abducted by aliens

As a drug addict needs a fix
and an alcoholic craves a drink
I am compelled to lie

Counseling; a joke!
The Samaritans; don’t make me laugh!
Shed my soul to a friend; bye friend!

So you see, although I loath my affliction
I am truly stuck with it
so I live my true life alone
and get my kicks outside of my bubble

I have a code that I adhere to; you could say it’s my bible:
1) Never tell a naked lie, however temping;
It’s far too difficult to wing it, remembering every detail
as you are speaking; it’s suicide
2) Always think a lie through prior to its launch.
Research is your ally
3) Tell a lie to a small gathering
with the best research in the world mistakes
will occasionally happen, and too many ears can often
lead to brave questioning
4) If you are one of the lucky liars, and do actually
have a partner, they must be kept inside your bubble,
and must never be lied to. This rule is like the wholly grail
and must never be broken
5) Try to find a malleable victim, i.e. stupid!
You will get the same hit from someone who is stupid as
someone who you deem to be intelligent
and there is far less risk of discovery
6) Lastly, never tell a lie involving someone that the listener
knows, thus no paper trail!