Who Cares What You Think!

In the first stanza 'your' should be you're and in the second stanza you need you're in the first line, and in the second line. You're needs to replace your in the last line of the first stanza. Dam should be damn as well. Sorry just a few typos I really enjoyed this, it was very enjoyable and clearly very heartfelt :) Beeme XX

you missed one , should be 'well you're not'. Sorry xD good too see you're writting more :) x

Hi Lennie, I'm not qualifed to critique your writing but for what its worth here is my advice. you may have heard of show and tell? it pops up every now and then, basicly when writing you should attempt to show rather than tell, it seems to me that that you start your poem by telling, then you do some good showing, then end with telling, for example: I was really angry (telling), I hit the wall so hard it split my knuckles (showing), it's not always so obvious as that, but if you keep this in mind I think you might find it helpfull. I thought the middle bit was a really good example of showing, Shirley :~}