The official Penny Lane story

I went up Penny Lane yesterday and like man it was weird. There was this really shiny fire engine and there was this lush nurse watering poppies she’d planted behind the bus shelter with the fire hose while the fire man was off getting his hair cut by this crazy old barber. God the fireman kept that fire engine clean, it was like a really, really clean machine and stuff. Anyway I went into the bank and like that was way, way over the edge like. The banker was sort of a spaced out pied piper with all these kids following him round the tills sort of poking their tongues out at him and acting strange and sort of scary and apparently he don’t even wear a plastic Mac or nothing. Then I had a drink of this pink stuff coming out of a drinking fountain in the middle of a round-a-bout and totally tripped and it was like Penny Lane was going through my ears, like in one ear and out the other and stuff and this crazy barber was showing all these photographs of all the heads he’d shaved and things but when he showed a photograph of someone near they became headless, like he had their head in his hand and I so I went and stood by the fire engine near the round-a-bout and tried to look up the lush nurses skirt but she was wearing aluminium foil jeans and like that foiled that idea and everyone was eating fish and finger pies so I filled up a bottle with the pink trippy stuff from the drinking fountain and thought, fuck this man, this is kind of doing my head in all this weirdness I’m just gonna fuck right off down Strawberry Fields forever and try and get straight and stuff