Reuniting with Big Nessa

So tell me…did you notice me? No? But I was there! I didn’t leave like you swore up and down I would. I was in the back of the room, off to the left, against the wall. Maybe you didn’t see me because I was talking to Nessa…ahem, Big Nessa.

She’s a generally nice girl. We talked for hours about all kinds of stuff. Well, it started with you. She says she remembers your name but she’s not altogether sure about what you looked like. I guess it’s been a long time. These reunions are always the same. We either remember names and forget faces or vice versa. I suppose you’re lucky sometimes when you forget both. Do you remember Nessa…Big Nessa? She’s not an easy person to forget. She was in our Geometry class. Curly brown hair? Always wore a lot of pink.

I told her about us and where we met. She thought it was a funny story. I suppose it is. How many other couples at this reunion can say they met their future wife, whom they knew in high school, in a dolphin tank in Florida? It must be amazing to come to a high school reunion and say, rather honestly, that you are a dolphin trainer. If I didn’t know better, I’d claim you were a big fat liar.

Nessa (I felt calling her Big Nessa was a bit offensive after all these years) has really changed over the years. She’s still as brilliant as ever and she really built herself quite the career. She currently works part-time with the Canadian and French governments to create self-decomposing candy wrappers. The story she told me about the first time she went to Candy14 was frightening. Candy14 is this massive floating island of candy wrappers that has somehow ended up taking refuge in Lake Ontario in Canada. She knows how it happened but she won’t tell me the details. It’s top secret, after all. She had to really brush up on her Lake Ontario facts before beginning work. She even quizzed me. Did you know Lake Ontario is the 14th largest lake in the world? She travels back and forth between Lake Ontario in Canada and Lac du Chambon in France. Lac du Chambon has the beginnings of a real wrapper problem on their hands. She’s trying her hardest to end this cycle before it spreads further. I guess all those years of French class really paid off!

The rest of her time is split between working on this documentary regarding the terror that cranberries grown in the United States have on our wireless signals and playing her oboe in downtown Clarksburg. You would have never guessed that so many folks are paying heaping amounts to see her play this oboe. She is quite the talent apparently. I told her the next time we’re in the area that we’d go take a listen. Maybe we’ll get VIP seats in the front? I’ve got my fingers crossed.

She told me about her family. Her brother Francis…do you remember him? He was a year behind us but he was always hung around with others in our grade. Red hair? Short? He was kind of a menace… Anyway, he is currently working on a reality show! It’s something to do with dogs, acrobats and making money. He’s filming in Detroit this week and next week they will be in Rio! She couldn’t really disclose much on the network it will be airing on or any of the financial details but I’m dying to see it when it eventually airs. It should be a real treat.

We talked about other stuff too…Her thoughts on Haley’s Comet are really something to be heard. She insists that the comet is just a blatant cover-up for military action. She thinks there is a lot going on behind the scenes. “The comet is more than just a comet, Phil.” Those were her exact words. There’s a lot going on in space that she questions. From the nature of the satellites to the actual contents of those dehydrated food packets the astronauts supposedly eat.

Talking to her was such a delight. She’s super charming and really upfront about all of things she’s experienced and seen. Quite a pleasure talking to her. I really learned a lot. She’s changed so much you wouldn’t believe it. We have to find her. I’m sure you guys would have so much to talk about.