Hope

I sat down on the back table. Keeping my bag close and pretending to be doing something on my phone so that I wouldn’t be noticed.

‘Hey Alex.’

Oh great.

‘Come sit with us, there’s loads of room here.’
I looked up and saw Hannah’s face beaming at me, ‘Uh okay’. I said forcing a smile, trying as hard as I could to look vaguely cool.

I moved over onto the middle table.

‘You alright?’

‘Yeah thanks, you?’ Finding it too easy to slip into conversation, I slowly started to relax.

The lesson went on, and the banter on the middle table between Hannah and I progressed, slowly involving a bright red-head next to her. I’d never met her before but had learnt her name was Kat and that I seemed to be able to identify with her straight away.

‘You don’t have my number, do you? Here I’ll write it down for you.’ Hannah said, gleefully tearing a piece of paper to shreds.

‘Have mine too.’ Kat reached over and threw her number in front of me.

Two seconds later I had 15 messages of explicit content making me laugh, and I realised how bloody quickly this ‘Kat’ girl could text.

That entire day, the texts kept coming. And I was loving it, I couldn’t get this girl out of my mind, but I knew she had a boyfriend already so I just enjoyed my new-found friendship.

Hours later, sat on my sofa with my parents. A text comes through out of nowhere. She’s text me to tell me she’s thrown up after mass-consumption of alcohol at the fair in town.

My heart skips a beat. Questions fill my mind.

‘Why is she texting me?’

‘Isn’t her boyfriend with her?’

‘You can’t just assume anything yet, she just seems like a cool girl.’

So I text back, telling her to go get some rest and make sure she gets plenty of water and that I’ll text her in the morning to check on her.

Our friendship slowly developed and later that week, I found myself walking with her in the pitch black while her drunken friends walked ahead. Every second of that encounter, I could feel my heart-beat in my head, my hands. I was afraid it was so loud, she’d be able to hear it and realise how scared I was. But among all that, a strange sense of calm was moving through my body. To talk to her felt like the most comfortable thing in the world.

A week later, she was talking to me about breaking up with her boyfriend. I couldn’t express my own opinion because I was sure it would freak her out; but I made sure she weighed up the consequences. I think the moment she threw her phone across the field and ran to get it, and I ran up behind and spun her around, was when we realised that there was something more between us.

8 months later and I love her even more than I did at that table in Media.

8 months later and our love gives me hope.