Veggie Monster

I’m the veggie monster
I’ve got big clumpy feet
I’ve got hair from my top to my bottom
And there’s just one thing I like to eat

It’s not children, insects or vermin
It’s not chocolate or old men called Reg
It’s not poo, or snot, or vomit
It’s lovely fresh fruit and veg

I skip along Green Lanes each morning
Whistling, with the wind in my hair
I bypass the wedding and jewellery shops
There’s nothing I like there!

I browse the peppers and mushrooms
Skewer juicy tomatoes with my claws
Juggle brocolli, lettuce and parsnips
Then gulp them all down - VEG GALORE!

If I’m feeling patient
I take my loot up Finsbury Park
Gobble mangoes til the sun goes down
Then troff courgettes in the dark.