The Halloween Ghoul

Now I lay me down to sleep, I praise the lord my soul to keep, If I should die before I wake, I…wait just a darn minute! I am dead!

Let’s start over again!

Now I lay beneath the soil, in this dark and dreary grave, and think of the one who put me here, that dirty nasty knave.

My coffin leaks, my bones are cold, my clothes have turned to rags, my body stinks the gas is bad, all around me bloated hags.

I’d pick my nose to pluck the dirt, but my finger I cannot find, there’s a stupid root from a stupid tree, growing through my cold behind.

What lies above I’d like to know, besides that stupid tree, for Halloween is drawing near, please come and set me free.

I hear a noise, it’s very near, is it children with a bag? It’s just a mouse, a lousy mouse, and it’s chewing on my leg.

Go away you stinking rat, my body’s not your meal,
I may be cold and smell like slime, but your gnawing I can feel.

My eyes are gone, some stupid snake did eat them long ago, while crawling through my ribs and skull and sliding too and fro.

Please come to me, young tender kids, on softly padded feet, so when you pass my lonely grave, I’ve something good to eat.

My mind is set on getting out of this ugly stinking grave, Halloween is drawing near, it's freedom that I crave.

With eager thoughts and hunger pains, I hope to seek you out, with tricks and treats and candied sweets, scattered all about.

Children come and set me free, on this glorious Hallow’s eve, for you can feed a hungry ghoul, but never shall you leave.