Torn

Once, I was a stranger.
Chubby-faced, plain, almost-Asian teenager.
Invisible breath of wind, a raindrop.
Now all at once my life takes on
A mind of its own- spiralling
Away from me, like a dropped reel of thread.

I have just learned to have a lover
And suddenly, there is another...

I cannot sympathise- I do not understand,
I'm still chubby-faced, still plain, still me!
I do not want to be
The one who holds two happinesses
In the palm of her hand.

I know not how
To assuage the groundless guilt
And tell myself instead
That the wind which shatters buildings to the ground
And sends forth howling swirling fury
Also supports the wayward-drifting leaf,
Tosses bright kites, lightly buffeting, to the heavens.
I remember
That the rain that falls mercurial, grey
Saturating paper-memories to pulp
Washes away the dirt and the dimness and dark
Signalling hope of a brighter day.

All I can give him are words
And all I can be is a friend-
As he fumbles, distracted, for his own life's thread
Guide it; into his open hands
So gently, place the frayed end.