I do recall
By jonahs cough
Sun, 13 Feb 2011
- 1544 reads
8 comments
I do recall those shopping malls,
Our poster covered Artex walls,
The 20 minute landline calls,
The heady heights and deathly falls.
You spoke to me, I heard your name,
We talked with words that hid our shame,
I thought love was some foreign game,
We played for hours without an aim.
Day and night merged into one,
And in your needy arms I'd hung,
Rejoicing in the game we'd won,
'Now you're not so lonely, son'.
But in your room so dimly lit,
I could no longer bear your shit,
Just waiting for that fatal hit,
And so your wrists began to slit.
- Log in to post comments
Comments
hello jonahs cough - I
Permalink Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on
hello jonahs cough - I really like the first stanza of this poem
- Log in to post comments
Me too. Artex is perfect.
Me too. Artex is perfect. You really let the air out with the last stanza. I'm assuming it's intentional.
Did you consider 'without an aim' instead of 'with no aim'? It scans better.
- Log in to post comments
Very emotive and powerful,
Very emotive and powerful, especially the last stanza.
I can relate to this;
'You spoke to me, I heard your name,
We talked with words that hid our shame,
I thought love was some foreign game,
We played for hours without an aim.'
Beeme xx
k.
- Log in to post comments