Am I slowly killing myself

with alcohol with sleep with movies:
there was a time when movies used to excite, now
they bore me, make me wonder why I am watching
them.

I drink alcohol to get a high, thinking
this is my prize for working so hard but
it doesn't feel good at all and I
never really work that hard. Sleep

is the cheap vacation. Dreams do not fulfill though
and no sense of accomplishment.

why does the world bore me so much, am I
killing myself daily
not living but complaining
not enjoying but bitter inside.

i need to move on, grow and become
this endless detour is driving me nuts...