A sad sad day

It came as a surprise. It was out of the blue and I knew that it would take a while before it sunk in. There you were shining in blazing blue with your bright brown crinkled eyes. All around you I just saw a rainbow mounted like a halo on every surface that my imaginary sun shone upon your imagined visage.

When I was told it hurt, but more like an old wound or a phantom pain. I hated that my words that I had said so strongly and passionately about truth and love now lay before me, showing me their true nature, my blindness.Guess I chose to be blind. I figured it was alright because it was you. There was no need to find out what it was that kept me there. What it was that made it okay. I thought at least that you were a better person than I was. That your nonchalant attitude was charming and all the more when you surprised me when you cared. I figure you always knew what was important and it didn't matter that it wasn't me.

For a while there you lay in the shadows, you were like my betraying words and in complete shambles. I was wrong about you and it took me longer but I came to realise that that was alright too. Not much has changed over the years. I have loved you like always and hoped against hope for something that even if I had, I wouldn't recognise. I was never forced into this choice, I chose my blindness just as I choose to accept it now.

You remain unfaded, the glow about you has the same brightness but I cannot look at it the same anymore. I guess I should have known, but what of the real you did I really know?

What you did and all your choices, what did that have to do with me? What indeed. It is none of my business. Doesn't concern me,never did. I do not need to know and yet it gnaws at me, aching in a familiar way. You and your bright halo light that has now left a dark shadow on all our memories, my memories of you and I.

I want to take it back, all the unfailing faith that I placed in you. But you dazzle me again and even thouh I was wrong to believe so blindly, I want something of that light to remain. Life will go on, needless to say and I will want to one day look back at you and see...things I don't regret. One day it will be so...but today I regret you and it is a sad sad day.