Can't Do It Anymore

One day; two days; three days; four,
How many more days are going to be a war,
Waking up after just seeing you again,
Teasing me until I pick up the pen,
Dreams are supposed to be my safe haven,
But now again they seem to have become broken.

Getting up and the sun is shining today,
But then it’s suddenly taken away,
Looking for you as I always do,
Forgetting that you’re gone; and that dream wasn’t true,
I realise the mess that I am now in,
Someone just throw me in the fucking bin.

I just can’t stop; thinking about you,
I’ve saved your voice; but it just won’t do,
I can’t do this anymore,
Winning a battle but not the war,
I so want to be with you again,
So I don’t have to keep picking up this pen.

Let me go so I can be free,
I’m not liking the person I seem to be,
Tried sorting things out in my head,
Now I just wish that I was dead,
Then we can be back together again,
So I can write silly poems about Harriet the Hen.

Just wanting a cuddle; is that too much to ask,
As I fall backwards; upon my ass,
Stuck in a hole with no ladder to climb,
Wanting to meet my end time.

So I go about my day,
Working in the kitchen; I hide away,
Usually pretend that I am fine,
But the people I work with know it’s a lie,
“I’m just tired”, is what I say,
As I try to carry on this play.

Days are long; nightimes are longer,
Not wanting to sleep; as I get older,
Unless I can sleep forever,
Away from here would be better,

I’m missing you so much and it hurts,
Finding my face back in the dirt,
Drinking too much like I usually do,
I just want to be back with you.

But I guess for now,
It’ll be the same old thing,
See you tonight,
In my haunted dreams.