Cosmos and Chaos
By thesnowman36
- 419 reads
It's cold, and whats more its made colder still when you're moving at a pace of sixty or seventy miles an hour. If I was anyone else I would be bitching right now. I'm another bearded nobody riding to uncertainty on the only thing he owns, and it's almost out of gas. But that's no way to look at it. I've got electric in my veins, a highway with a blue bruised desert straddling it, and the universe twinkling under a veil of copper on fire. A verdant sky above an infertile land.
Once in a while I lose my sense in all these particles and wonder if I too will become just as small and insignificant as the grains of sand I rush by. Will I too diminish into something glanced over, not to be distinguished from the millions or so like me. I look to the stars that slowly turn by above me and chuckle. I mutter to myself, “maybe I already am.”
Two pops and my arms tighten as my bike goes careening into the desert. The force of the throw whips my hair and reminds me that I am not wearing a helmet. In the dark I can't discern any of the motions that placed me on my back. It takes a few moments for me to start breathing, and when I do it feels as I'm only drawing in half of what I need.
I turn to look but nothing happens. My mind shudders at the sudden possibility and then goes blank. For how long it is unclear but I kept systematically trying to move different parts of my body. Being calm was the key, and I kept trying to will every part to move. After a few attempts from the toes up I lost my calm and tried to wretch and writhe. All that occurred was a slight raising of my head, the parting of my lips, and a pained aerated noise escaped.
This whole time I had been examining my body intently for any signs of motion with frantic tunnel vision, but now I ceased. As I resigned myself to my paralysis, a strange thought crossed my mind. At least I didn't have to feel the physiological effects of my despair, such as lower back pain. As funny as I found this I could barely laugh to myself. Without the energy to continue looking at my wrecked body sending me white noise I had no choice but to look at the heavens.
The well traveled light from ancient places created spastic arcs of light in the pooled moisture collecting around my eyes from the unwanted tears that were now rolling across my temples. I thought it strange that these colossal things floating in an abyss millions of miles away would comfort me. Maybe it comforts me because I thought that if someone can look at a star and see its worth, maybe someone can contemplate the same thing of a grain of sand, or me. I'm not sure but between this avenue of thinking and my accident I can't stay conscious anymore. My right hand pulls tight as my mind goes limp and falls away, and my last memory before I pass out is of the particles in my hand.
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