The Walk.

By Anne Shirley

Thu, 06 Oct 2011
  • 1311 reads
6 comments
 

Proudly she walks along,
a swing of satisfaction
behind her.

Double D’s,
in all their glory
introducing her
to the world.

In heels and tights;
her legs, like sausages
squashed inside intestines.

Why has she not yet noticed,
my figure, completely
free of excess?

My subtle parade
on un-dimpled thighs must not
go unenvied.

Doesn’t she know
she’s fat?

Certificate U
Poem
Best ones.
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by lenchenelf on
I feel the piece is strong enough to lose the 7th stanza, a good read. atb Lena

 

Submitted by Anne Shirley on
Thankyou, and now I look at it i think your right.

Submitted by leroy mockbee on
Just a humble suggestion, but maybe consider removing the first line and/or changing the title? The final 'doesn't she know she's fat?' would hold a lot more weight (no pun intended), if we hadn't already been exposed to it twice.

 

Submitted by Anne Shirley on
Thankyou, that makes a lot of sense. And yes, nice pun :)

Submitted by maggyvaneijk on
I liked this, the second stanza is great!

 

Submitted by Anne Shirley on
Thankyou, me and my Mum wrote this together, the second Stanza was hers, and yes she is a star :)