You're to Blame

If only I had a crystal ball
To know what tomorrow brings
I wouldn’t have a broken heart
Among some other things

I’d not had those measles
Or that horrible swine flu
Oh yes, I know where I got it
Always so generous- you

I’d never had that hangover
The one that lasted days
Or spent five long hours
Lost in a garden maze

I’d never had that sunburn
That gave me painful blisters
Oh yes I have you to blame
Thanks so much, mister

I wouldn’t have sang karaoke
You know it’s not my thing
Now every one in that pub
Knows how bad I sing

I’d never tried bungee jumping
It was so fun- NOT
The nightmares went on forever
For that I thank you lots

I wouldn’t have had spiky hair
Nor this horrible tattoo
It would be so bad except
It’s a pic of you

So if I had a crystal ball
To look forward in time
I’d not have you to blame
For this horrible rhyme