Remember every morning (I.P.)

By Kahdai

Fri, 21 Oct 2011
  • 653 reads
2 comments
 

Darkness disguising time,
hiding the morning from me,
seems like only just lay down
carefully not to wake the one
who I remember every morning
I will get to see at night
and makes it worth it all.

Certificate U
Poem
Love

Comments

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Hi there, Kahdai. This is beautiful. Just a suggestion for the fourth and fifth lines. Maybe, "...seems like I've only just laid down, careful not to wake the one..." You say so much in these seven lines, Kahdia. Quite an art;-) Tina x

 

Submitted by Kahdai on
Thank you Tina, I aprecciate your suggestion and the lovely comment after :) , yet I will keep it as is because it fits the rest of the timing, do you see? K

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "