The Fruit Cake Twins

one fake smile said to another
fake smile at this “holiday” time of
year
that it was great to see them &
that they’d been thinking of them all year
with the obligatory hug
followed by the obligatory chuckles at
jokes that aren’t funny
with a few questions about the family
(yawn) or inquiry about a family that
said fake smile might not have yet
with condescension &
awkward back paddling (yikes) applied
directly thereafter
all summed up with an expected moment of
obligatory gift-giving
accompanied by momentary tearing of
packaging &
the arrival upon the notion that each
fake smile has been similarly
uninspired & cheap,
as between the two fake smiles
lie in the their prospective hands
two fruit cakes---
two fruit cakes,
saying less to another person during a moment of
obligatory gift-giving than might a
gift certificate
or perhaps even just a shrug of the shoulders
(with a silent mental phlegm wad on the whole of
it all)---
two fruit cakes,
like the doublemint twins themselves at age 80 or so
came right up to both fake smiles
kissing them with hairy lips, loss of teeth &
a case of bad breath that would make those mad scientists
down below in their underground bases
start to wonder that if they could contain it somehow,
it could be spread over large stretches of the next enemy
by stealth bombers or drones in any one of our
perpetual wars---
two fruit cakes,
now staring up at the mutual fake smiled,
mutual fake laughing (oh my, what are the chances that this could happen?),
thinking of nothing else but
just how long it will take them to get home,
rewrap these things &
pawn them off on another sucker
tomorrow.