impossible friends (pt 1 of many)

"you.... you are..." Jenny stuttered
"yes, The Grim Reaper?" he replied "What, did the scythe give it away?" He gave it a little swing to show it off "That's usually what gives it away. Never met somebody who didn't get it once they saw that"
"does that mean..." she stopped herself, finally allowing the truth to sink in
"That you are dead? Well, I bloody well hope so, or I'm fired!"
He floated a little closer towards her. She was still unable to make out his face due to the large coat and hood covering him
"But how?" she asked, quite innocently. The Reaper laughed a deep booming laugh, that matched his voice
"Don't you understand? You drank yourself to death. you could say you 'took a shot'" She looked at him as if to say 'that was pathetic'. "like Russian roulette...?" He cleared what would be his throat.
"You've joined quite a big club. Lots of celebrities drank themselves to death. That and a bunch more alcoholics"
She shook her head "no, I'm too young to die!" The reaper shrugged.
"people die every day. quite a lot are younger than you. Considering you drank yourself to death, I suppose you deserved it. You had it coming for some time"
"I'm not ready to go!" He let ought a sigh and seemed to shake his head.
"Jeez, another cliche lover. Alright, no you weren't" she looked up in hope "people rarely are unless they are old or have been ill for a long time" he stated in a bored, monotone voice, as if he had had to say it for the millionth time that day. "any more you wanna throw at me, or can we get going? I have a lot of timers that are running out fast. It is Saturday, after all..."
"Am I...... really dead?" she asked, tears welling up
"no, you took some tequila with roofies and are now seeing hallucinations. if you go downstairs, you'll see a rabbi and a priest dance the macerena on your table. Of course your bloody dead. I wouldn't be here if you were alive, would I? c'mon, lets get GOING"
She burst out crying as it dawned on her. She was dead because it was a part of life. The part that tells you its over and there was nothing you can do about it.
She burst out crying
"oh jeez, now your crying. Why can't people accept it anymore? It used to be a quick 'your dead' 'oh, alright' 'lets go' 'okay', now its all cry cry cry, 'please mister skeleton, reverse it and I'll lead a good life"
"Could you be more insensitive?" she cried out "My life is over. I'll never see my friends or..."
"Famiy again and there are so many things you left unfinished and regrets and all of that. I've heard it before. I've come here to drag your sorry ass to wherever you are going, not hear your sob stories. We gotta go."
"W....where am I going?" she managed to stumble out
"Why. would I know?" he exclaimed.
"Because you are going to take me away...?"
"come on, get your sorry ass moving. We're gonna be late, and if I don't pick up the others, I'll have to go ghost hunting, and that is an absuloute nightmare."
"what is your name?"
"what?"
"You must have a name, or something they call you?"
"Why do you want to know? look, we go to horse, I harvest you and never see you again" 'thank goodness', he thought "its not a friendship builder, its a next part of your life"
she looked down at the floor, a false sadness creeping over her face
the grim reaper could even facepalm, although he was lacking the face and the palm. he started drumming his bony fingers on his skull making a 'clack clack' noise ring throughout the bedroom "I'm a soul harvester, not a carebear." he sighed "they call me Garry"
"GARRY?! that isn't scary!"
"you want to see scary, Jenny? I'll show you scary!" Said 'Garry', quickly getting frustrated
He flipped back his black hood, uncovering his yellowed skull on a spine which quickly burst into flames. The huge blue flames spread from his skull and started to flow out of his flared sleeves. The sound of the flames and the threatening voice rang throughout the room. The whole neighborhood would've been deafened if they could hear him "YOU WILL FEAR AND RESPECT ME, JENNIFER COLLINS" The flames grew and became closer to white, than blue as he got more worked up. "I AM DEATH HIMSELF. YOUR MOCKERY WIL NOT DELAY AN INEVITABLE FUTURE" He quickly calmed down and flipped his hood back up.
"I am not an illusion"
"I guess I really am dead, then" she said with a little sigh
"If there is a hell, you are going there."
"WHAT!? Why?"
"The 10 commandments were often broken"
"What, all 10? what ones?"
"you were frequent on number 9. Lying"
"well, if that's the deal, then who isn't going to hell?"
"That isn't it, moron" He clicked his boney fingers and a clipboard materialized in his hand "Lying, Stealing from the offering, wait, what? really?"
"What, I needed to buy my next shot somehow...."
"well whatever, Fornication and also 'cheating on those you fornicated with'. well, you were an alcoholic and general slut. We have to go" He grabbed her hair and pulled her from the bedroom towards the patiently waiting horse. they climbed on and set off towards a beautiful country field where Garry swung his scythe through Jenny.
He climbed back on the horse
"thank god for that" he said as they trotted through the sunset.