severe nostalgia

whilst bored as fuck
sitting in front of the
screen, wanting to
remember better days,
wanting to feel like it
never ended, wanting to
feel young again, wanting
to have the heart stir,
wanting to feel the ears
pang with noise,
wanting to sway in the crowd,
wanting it all to
seem better again &
alive,
oh, so alive---
s/he turns to youtube,
wonderful, blissgiving
youtube,
who stores the footage of said
favorite bands of
yesteryear &
s/he starts to watch & relive,
watch & relive,
pondering how back then
in such a wonderful state of awe,
s/he really didn’t know a thing,
s/he had no idea of just how quick
it would all go away &
becoming jealous of the wandering
youth of today &
becoming spiteful, bitter &
with all those horrible flooding notions,
s/he gets angry at her/his favorite
band, who,
like her/him,
has rotted away as well,
sold out, disappeared & then
pathetically attempted to resurrect &
reinvigorate,
a corpse that was no longer relevant or
energetic, to say the least &
with a 1000 tears blistering inside,
s/he mutter to her/himself in the
deep dark seclusion
of a night spent home in front of the
screen,
“this, is how i want to remember them…yes,
this is how i want to remember them,”
knowing all to well that
“then,”
is all s/he wants to remember.