That Elusive Cure 26

“I want to go.” I stood up, too quickly and a rush of blood to my head made me stagger. The pebble beach crunched under my feet as I checked to see where our car was parked.

 

“You don’t want to talk to him?” Jimmy sounded incredulous.

 

I shook my head as I glanced back at Dad’s boat.

 

“After we came all this way?” Angry now, or maybe just miffed.

 

The wind picked up and I watched as Dad adjusted the sail and the boat suddenly took off. The woman in the boat gave a little shriek, the sound almost entirely snatched by a gust. I was sure I heard the sound turn to laughter.

 

“I want to go,” I said, hearing my voice come out cold. How could Dad do that to my mother? Nearly fifty years of marriage and this is how it ended. Dad sailing about with some middle aged trollop on board.

 

Jimmy remained sitting on the log. “I think you and your dad need to sort it out here and now.

 

“You’re pissed off because I’m going to make you drive another hour and a half and you haven’t had enough of a break.”

 

The clouds whipped by the tops of the hills that surrounded Bala Lake. Little white dots covered the gentle slopes leading out of the valley. It seemed if you had a green patch in Wales you put some sheep there.

 

“Kath, that’s not it.” Definitely angry now. “You won’t be happy if you leave like that. You need to sort it out.”

 

My face suddenly felt hot, tears were close. I turned my face towards the wind to try and cool my emotions. What was he doing cheating on Mum? Bastard! “No, we’re going.” My voice quivered. An urge to run came over me, to get far away before Jimmy and my father saw how upset I was. Stupid cancer got into everything. It was like a black mould that slowly choked the life out of everything around a person. I should have seen this coming, I should have been paying attention. So many things were going unnoticed by me. Cass was pregnant for God’s sake. How did I not see that one coming?

 

Jimmy still sat on the log and his lack of movement was beginning to really piss me off. He stared out into the lake and said, “But he’s seen you.”

 

I saw Dad now, waving from the boat and using the wind to shoot him towards the shore. He’d be on dry land before I even reached the car at the rate his boat was going. If I wasn’t so cross, so upset, so confused by what I’d seen I might have been impressed.

 

“Kath!” Dad shouted to me, a big smile on his face. So brazen, the woman was sitting beside him. Did he think I couldn’t see her or that I wouldn’t notice her once he was on the shore?

 

Dad’s boat got as close to the shore as he was going to allow it. He tossed a rope to Jimmy who was finally on his feet.

 

“Hold up steady, would you?”

 

Jimmy knew the drill and kept hold of the rope as Dad climbed out of the boat and into the water, his waders keeping him dry. Between the two of them they got the boat on the pebble shore and the woman climbed out. She made a beeline for me, a wide smile on her face.

 

I looked left, then right, searching for an escape route. All I could think is that this moment would forever be seared on my brain as the moment I met the woman who split up my parents. She’d not said a word and I already hated her. I backed up the bank and onto the grassy verge.

 

“Kath? Hello.” The woman came at me, a hand extended in greeting. Before I had a chance to escape she had one of my hands, not to shake but to grasp with her own warm hands. “I’m Margret.” She spoke with an educated accent and I imagined her coming from a wealthy family.

 

“Hi…”

 

Dad and Jimmy had dealt with the boat and both were now heading our way. Jimmy was chatting with my father his hands skittering around as he spoke, a sure sign he was excited about something.

 

“Your father has told me so much about you. I’m sorry to hear about your health problems.”

 

God was she smooth. How dare she, this home wrecker, how dare she talk to me like this.

 

“Kath,” Jimmy said as he and Dad joined us. “It’s not what you think.” His eyes were gleaming.

 

“Hi sweetheart.” Dad came up and placed a kiss on my cheek, his beard tickling my skin. “To what do I owe the honour of you hunting me down in Wales?”

 

I knew Dad must already know why I was here, him and Jimmy had spoken. I shrugged and looked to Jimmy for help. But all Jimmy did was put an arm around me and grin stupidly at Margret.

 

“You’ll never guess what I’ve been up to.” He smirked, glancing at Margret.

 

I was so confused, how could he think I would be pleased? My face was going hot again, despite the wind and the misting rain. No matter what, I wasn’t going to let myself cry in front of this woman.

 

I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak.

 

“Margret here,” he linked arms with her and gave her a gentle squeeze, “is helping me plan for your mother’s and my fiftieth wedding anniversary.”

 

The surprise hit me hard. Despite my best efforts tears were suddenly falling. He wasn’t cheating, he was planning an event?

 

“Hey what’s wrong?” Dad wrapped me up in his arms, and I was ten again, crying over the death of our cat, Jerry. Dad felt as big and strong and as comforting as he ever had.

 

“I thought… I thought…”

 

He cut me off. “Shush, don’t worry. We’ll talk about it later.”

 

Jimmy must have had a damn quick chat with him as they worked on the boat.

 

But it should have been me. It should have been me that he came to for help, not this stranger. I was his family, he should have come to me. And I knew why he hadn’t. I was the cancer daughter, the sickly woman who shouldn’t be bothered. It would tire me or stress me, and how do you time meetings for secret events when your cohort is sick with chemo or can only think about the latest upcoming scan? Here it was, one more facet of my life, taken by this stupid disease. I hated it, hated every aspect of this sickness. How it slowly took away my very person. I’d be dead long before cancer stopped my heart.

 

I dragged my sleeve across my face to dry my tears, feeling like a petulant child, and tried to get my emotions under control.

 

Dad let me go and nodded at the small café. “Come on. I’ll treat you to a cake and tell you all the plans.”