Highway Part 43

Highway Chapter 22(continued)

“Hi,” he said, as if this were an everyday situation.

He asked me why I was here, confused. I told him I came back to help the girl, sending the one from the shed to town. He was bleeding too fast, and I needed to get him medical attention.

“Come on,” I said, slinging his arm around my shoulder.

He tried to stand, walking a few steps before having to lean heavily on me. He was so big, and I could barely keep him on his feet. We dragged against the wall until we made it to the ground floor. The girl from the roof had long since sprung away, nowhere to be found. He would be fine if I could get him some help, or even if I bandaged his wound.

He collapsed just outside of the door, and I kneeled next to him. Bits of glass and rocks dug into my knees, but I didn’t care.

“Matt!” I called, “Matt, it’s going to be okay. You’ll be fine.”

He gave me a knowing smile, and placed a bloody hand on my cheek. It smeared across my skin, and he apologized.

“Look,” I said, “its okay. You’re fine. You’re fine.”

I repeated the phrase, a mantra of sorts.

“No, baby girl. No.” he said weakly.

“Listen,” he choked out, his back spasming in pain. He panted, wincing.

“I love you,” he said when he recovered, “I love you so much more than you could ever know. I didn’t tell you at the hotel, but I should have. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone my whole life. I just wanted you to know.”

My heart exploded with joy, warmth spreading through my body. But it was wrong, for he was losing it. He was dying, I knew, for nobody could bleed like that and live. But I wouldn’t acknowledge it, not until he stopped breathing.

“I love you too, Matt. You’re the first person I’ve loved in a long time.”

He gave me an achingly beautiful smile.

“Why is your hair up?” he asked, reaching around my head, “You look so beautiful, but you should have your hair down. You don’t like it up.”

He frowned, and I let him take it out, causing my hair to tumble down. I expected it to be sopping wet, but the rain was tapering off, and so it was mostly dry. How did he know about my hair? Once again, he knew so much about me that I didn’t even realize. He brushed a strand out of my face, and I caught his hand.

“Don’t you die too, Matt. Please. You’re all I have left.”

I was crying now, the saline filling my mouth. The tears splashed onto his cheek, mixing with the blood from the cut. It swirled into the drops, tingeing them with red. He was in pain, but so was I. What little was left of my heart was being cracked, bit by bit, until it shattered.

“You’ve meant so much to me, baby girl,” he said, taking in pained breaths, “And I can’t thank you enough. I was always so lonely on the path, but you changed that. You filled the only part of me left open by my awakening. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Stop. Stop it! Don’t say it like you’re dying!

The agony was prominent, filling up my lungs like water. I couldn’t breathe.

“Don’t cry,” he said, frowning, “You’re okay. Everything will be fine.”

I shook my head. What was he saying?

“I won’t be fine without you, Matt! How could I be fine? You’re the only one I love. Don’t you leave me. Please.”

My voice broke, and I felt my heart finally collapse. He struggled to say something, so I propped him up on my legs, cradling his head.

He gave me a grateful smile, and said, “Please don’t let this bother you.”

Why would I not? I was losing the only person I cared about. He was my favorite person, my love, my joy. I loved him as equally as I did my brother, and now I was losing him too.

I held his hand against my face, warming it up. He was so cold, just like my brother was that night.

“You will be the most beautiful drifter there is. I can already tell you’ll help so many people. You are the sweetest, most loving girl I have ever met, and I want you to spread that love to others.” He said, and I felt my heart swell in adoration again.

Why was he telling me this?

He told me to remember how much he loved me, and to hold it in my heart. If I ever got lonely, I should just think of him.

“I don’t want to think of you, Matt! I want you to be there so I don’t have to be lonely!  You can’t do this to me. Don’t leave me alone again! I can’t lose anyone else. Please. Please.”

All I could feel was the pain, and I leaned over Matt, hunched over. The sound of my sorrowful keening echoed across the space. No. Please, not again.

“It’s never really goodbye,” he said, squeezing my hand.

He told me it was time for him to go, and I shook my head frantically.

“No, Matt, no. Don’t even say it, you’ll be fine, you’ll make it. No!”

He hushed me gently.

“Veronica, my beautiful baby girl, I am the luckiest man in the world,” he said, “Thank you for loving me as I love you. Be a good girl and don’t get into trouble. Take care of yourself. You are always going to be the most special person in my heart. It’s time for me to leave you, but I’ll meet you again someday. I love you.”

This couldn’t be happening again. Could life really be so cruel?

“What are you saying? Come on! Get up! Please! We’re just outside of town! Don’t you dare leave me, you stubborn idiot. Get over your melodrama and stand up!”

I was screaming at him now, hoping I could use my voice to give him life.

“You can’t die. I told you, I won’t let you rest in peace! Don’t break that promise to me! Matt! Matt!”

He went limp in my arms, no longer responding. God, please no.

“Why? What the hell do you have against me?” I shouted to the sky, asking any god there was. “Haven’t you done enough already?”

I screamed in fury, leaning my head on Matt’s chest. I looked up again.

“Please don’t let him die. He’s the only thing I have left in this world. I’m sorry I squandered your gift to me, but don’t punish me like this.” I pleaded. “I’ll do anything, just don’t let him die! Please. I know I’m not your favorite, and I’ve done some pretty questionable things, but I’m asking you for help. I need you now. Please help me. Tell me what I should do!”

I got no answer from the clearing sky, only silence. I couldn’t tell if Matt was breathing, but his face was deathly pale. I wept for him, for he was gone. But then my sorrow was replaced with anger.

I was suddenly filled with a vicious fury, and a whirlwind of rage swept through my body. I had lost everyone I cared about in my life, and I had cried long enough.

Why wasn’t I even trying to change what was happening around me? Maybe life was trying to screw me, but maybe it was presenting me opportunities to help myself. I looked down at my Matt, my beautiful beloved boy. I was his baby girl, and I was just sitting here. I tried to get him down the stairs, but that was as far as I had gotten. But was I just going to sit here now? No. No way. I would not let life win this one.

I stood up, screeching across the land.

“You aren’t going to take him away from me! My life has been screwed up enough as it is, and I’m not letting you ruin the only good thing about it. So I’m warning anyone who’s listening, I won’t let him go. No!”

I peeled off Matt’s jacket, and lifted up his shirt.

The stab wound looked horrible, deep and bleeding. You wouldn’t think he had much blood left, but it was still seeping. With a clearer view of his chest, I could now see it move. I place my hand on his heart, and felt a pulse. It was very faint, but still there.

“You aren’t going to die, Matt,” I said intensely, “At least not today. You are not going to die because you tried to save me. You might die for some stupid reason, but it won’t be about me.”

I looked around, hoping to find anything to bind the wound. But there wasn’t much except my dress, and that wouldn’t save him. I didn’t have anything to stitch up his wound. What do I do? Please tell me.

As I prayed for help, I suddenly became very aware of the sounds around me. The birds chirping, the wind blowing, and a fire crackling. Wait, a fire? Fire’s meant supplies, and supplies meant tinder. Perhaps there was some cloth? Maybe there was something to help me stitch up Matt’s wound.

I rushed inside, skidding around the corner. I saw the fire, but cursed as I couldn’t find supplies. The only thing that was there was a metal fire sticker, glowing hot.

Could I cauterize the wound? I had no idea how, but it would close it. We had learned about it in med class junior year, but we hadn’t demonstrated it. His wound was so big too, and I didn’t have anything to clean the gash first. Wait! There was some alcohol in the corner. It wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing.

Thinking I had no other choice, I carefully removed the metal rod. I rushed outside with the liquor, and splashed some of it on Matt’s side, cleaning it as best I could. I waited until it dried, for I didn’t want it to catch on fire. How hot did the rod have to be? If it was too hot, it would just burn his flesh, making it even worse. It was red hot, which didn’t seem right. I would wait until it just barely glowed. I hoped Matt would make it that long.