Pint/Shot... Riot!

It had all started when Matt and Dave popped into their local for the obligatory 'Swift Half' (that is to say 'Half of Twelve Pints') and were greeted with a new landlord of such officious yet logically inconsistent pedanticism, that they were forced to take matters into their own hands.

 

"Pint of Best," Matt said, to be presented with a shot of what can only be described as 'Worst'.

 

"Shot of JD," Dave said, to be presented with a pint of Utter BS.

 

"What's this?" Matt and Dave queried in turn, and were provided with the following response:

 

"I have proffered to yon good selves not what you have literally ordered for the imbibement thereto, but rather what I deem are more appropriate beverages, pertaining as such to your perceived social statuses and the inferred means of yon available fiscal revenue."

 

"Bollocks," said Matt and Dave, simultaneously.

 

"If that is yon considered counterpoint to my ruling, then I shall strongly request that you vacate this establishment post-haste."

 

Matt and Dave didn't mean to start a riot. But following one's eviction from one's hitherto preferred watering hole, proceeding as a result of a scandalous misassignation of victuals, which in turn derived from a libelous presumption of social status... what can you do?

 

The Pint-Shot Riots lasted three days.