Topiary

 

 

"Your bush needs trimming," said Larry to Mick.

 

"Rather impertinent," said Mick to Larry.

 

Larry pointed at the horticultural marvel in the middle of Mick's lawn.

 

"Ah," said Mick.

 

 

 

Secateurs and scissors poised magnificently, Mick thought of himself as the Edward Scissorhands of the West (Midlands).

 

"Your Johnny Depp-shaped bush is a wonder to behold," said Larry; "but it does need a bit of a trim."

 

"So you've said," said Mick.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"There!" said Mick.

 

"Hmm..." said Larry.

 

"What?" said Mick.

 

"It looks like a penis," said Larry.

 

"!" said Mick.

 

 

 

The phallic bush stood erect and proud.

 

Mick looked at Larry.

 

Larry looked at Mick.

 

"Chop it down," they both said in unison.

 

And so the bush was reduced to a pile of twigs and leaves.