Sports: According To Logic (Chapter One)

CHAPTER ONE

WHEN RULES ARE NOT IMPORTANT, PLAY HOCKEY

Hockey is actually a very simple sport. 
If you are a big guy, like to fight, and don't like following the rules, this game is for you.

A bit of history about hockey.
A lot of people think that hockey was a game invented in Canada, but it was not. Just like every thing else, it was invented in the United States. 

The game is played mostly in Canada, because it is the only place in the world that has ice outdoors 365 days a year. 
It is true. Just ask anyone from Florida.

In 1947, an man by the name of Goa Lee, from Columbus, Ohio, wanted to find out what would happen if he cut a rubber ball in half, and then in half again. You know, just for fun. 
He dropped it onto an icy pond, and begin to hit it with a frozen branch. At that point he realized that this piece of rubber could easily be moved around the ice with this "stick".

Others began to join in the fun, and at one point someone described the rubber projectile as a "puck", because it resembled what looked like a urinal disinfectant.

Today, modernized hockey is enjoyed word-wide. Even in places without ice, it is played with a ball instead of a puck. This kind of hockey is surprisingly known as "ball hockey". 

Professional ice hockey players are a great role-models for kids. As many professional players do very well at promoting fair play and good sportsmanship. 

Fighting is now a requirement in hockey. Most teams now recruit players based on how well they can fight. Often, men trying out for a team are asked to fight, and the winner will then be automatically entered onto the roster.
It is rare that anyone's hockey skills are tested, since it is no longer important.

You will notice that players are often missing front teeth. This is because players almost never wear face shields or mouthguards. Teeth are not important to hockey players, as they don't have time to eat. They spend most of their time learning how to be a better hockey player by working on their all-important fighting skills.

The rules of the game are simple. Body-check as hard as you can, and try to injure you opponents. When you can't do that, start a fight. Somewhere in-between, try to score a goal or two.

However, goals are not important, as fans do not want to see good hockey. They want to see violence.

 
--Logic