Down to the River

Cherry

By Bee

Fri, 20 Mar 2015
  • 5315 reads
9 comments
 

Woke up this Morning,
intent on a stroll
along the reed path,
to hush Mind and Soul.

Stepped out to the water
and sunk like a stone;
gasped as cold River
flooded grey Lungs.

Slumped to the bed -
no choice but - give in
and welcome Relief
as Life took a swim

from work weary Body;
Mind, ragged, disturbed,
sorry and feeble,
wired, perturbed.

Small, Wicked World-
no friend of mine,
was gone without ripple, 
a brief blip in time.

Gone, sighs of Sorrow,
and fat Hunger's cries -
an earth in the throws
of Famine and Violence.

War lost to Memory,
as Ghost gave up Fight,
and sat in the sediment
of doleful ink Night,

when Evil and Hateful
drowned with Grief's tears,
forgotten, not gone,
except in Death's ears.

Certificate 15
Poem
Unclassified

Comments

Submitted by Sooz006 on

This made me shudder throughout, a horrible way to die, I'm sure.  Some strong images in this one Bee, good luck with the comp. 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Sooz, much appreciated.

Bee

Submitted by Linda Wigzell Cress on

Powerful language and imagery here Bee.  Made me go cold - I hate water and this fed my worse fear.

Linda

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Linda - and sorry for feeding fear.

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks, Bear, I wont. I'm so glad you noticed the 'personification' and the title. Thank you so much for your observant comments. 

Bee

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Bee

You almost make dying seem a positive in this. I expect when you've had a terrible life, or have been long and painfully involved in the dying process, lying back and letting death take over seems like a good thing.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Bee on

I think you might be right. Thanks Jean.

Bee

Submitted by Geoff Smith on

I'm not sure I fully understand this one, but there's plenty to think about, the strong rhymes that fall away and surge back, the designed used of capitalisation. It's a poem about writing and the product is... death?

It's jarring and heavy and I really like it.

Thanks for reading. I am grateful for your time.

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Geoff.

It's about when all the dreadful stuff gets too much to bear - even then, there's no solution in taking the 'easy way out' because all the bad would still be there, it's only the one who ended it for themself who would be gone. 

Not sure if I've explained it very well, but I hope it hasn't spoilt your enjoyment. I'm so pleased you took the time to think about it, and I liked your interpretation as well. 

Thank you,

Bee