Falling In Love

'What was it like to fall in love?'

Which time?

1. It was like making my bed for the first time, and when I laid in it I was uncomfortable because none of the sheets were tucked properly. I was obsessed and I needed him to know me. I needed to be needed. What I actually needed was a friend. I had no friends. He wasn't even my friend.

2. It was like the taste of cherry cough syrup. It was almost good, but everything was so wrong. I had no right to her, and she never suspected that I might want to kiss her eyelids and erase her worries. I'm not sure if I knew it at the time, either. I loved her whether I was supposed to or not.

3. It was like getting sloppy drunk on drinks that don't taste like alcohol. My body craved him and it ached to be touched. Is there anything else to say? He came to me when he was equally hungry, but he found a way to keep his fill much longer than I could. I should've asked how he did it. 

4. It's like drowning just to discover I can breathe underwater. It's horrible and beautiful and amazing and everything I've ever wanted. I'm so uncomfortable at all times, but I love them so much. Sometimes I think it doesn't matter, but I know deep down that it does. It matters. I matter. Even if they don't tell me.