Catatonic

Catatonic

 

 

From deep within, I look out, upon a world of hate and doubt.

My eyes sad drooping cavern portals as I regard the world of mortals.

My body a moving thing I wear, a carnal car of flesh bone and hair,

My hands reach but cannot touch, the beauty they want so much.

 

Inside I stand and stare without, and wonder what the world’s about.

 

Within a prison with bars of bone, I’m trapped inside and all alone.

I speak and hear another's lie, but I can’t retrieve the words that fly.

Lost behind the verbal clatter, we dare not speak of things that matter.

Pleasant pretense rules the tongue, an easy song too often sung.

 

Inside I stand and stare within, and sense some long lost distant kin.

 

Words like bullets spin and burn, and once shot they can’t return.

As much as I would like to be, a vital part of all I see,

I dare not rip the easy veil, for there’s a truth I can not tell.

When I part my lips to speak, I always fear they’ll hear a freak.

 

Inside I stand, search and pine for a world I know that’s mine.

 

Memories that can not be, from my youth have haunted me.

Things I knew and things I’ve seen, makes me feel lost in  between,

Two different worlds that coexist, I'm little more than miller‘s grist.

Though I stand upon the ground, I know not where my heart is bound.

 

Inside I crouch and turn within my quest for home I’ll soon begin.

 

The only time I see my face, is when I reach out to embrace

That strange impossible other place, and dare to join that other race.

Crazy yes, I guess that’s me, but I know nothing else to be.

Passing here is all I do, nodding, smiling; faking through.

 

Inside I stand my back turned now; I’ll find my way back home, somehow.

 

The yesterday that beckons me, will light the way so I can see.

Sunlight shines upon my back, warns me not to jump the track.

To leave this world; my carnal mother, and seek my long lost mystic brother.

I know the choice would be insane; there is no way I can explain.

 

Inside I stand then start to stride toward the home that waits inside.