Off With Their Heads !

 Off With Their Heads !

           Many of us grew up watching the animated cartoon version of the Lewis Carroll fantasy, “Alice In Wonderland.” The greatly stylized version of the Queen of Hearts wandered hither and yon screaming “off with their heads,” for any of her subjects that displeased her. It is a wonderful and well-told tale.

            But, while we much appreciate the cartoon version, the real life analog is a bit more unpleasant. Several times in recent weeks, in a golf pro shop, a Panera Bread’s Store and at a Costco Store,  we have come across these monsters. They are usually normal enough in appearance and are of a certain age. The calm visage disappears when you hear these latter day imperials bark at anyone in a retail or service industry capacity. “Do this!” “Get that done and now!” The imperials expect anyone near them to drop whatever they are doing and satisfy their egocentric demands. Or, it will be  “off with their heads!” Even when we are standing nearby, watching these gorgons throw a fit, we find it hard to believe. “Where did they ever develop these atrocious manners? “ I wonder.

                  Afterwards, I usually approach the affronted clerk and compliment them on their restraint and tact in dealing with customers. I know that were it me helping the aforementioned monsters, I would probably throttle them in short order. I have found that monsters only carry on when they are allowed to act that way. And they always back off in the face of any opposition. Their behavior is a form of bullying that hasn’t changed much since any of us played in the sand box at age three. And of course mentioning rude behavior to any of these characters will only engender another tantrum either at the moment or at some other venue where these monsters vent their spleen on other defenseless service people who have to be polite to them at all costs.

             I have taken to talking in a loud voice around the gorgons and asking, “Who is that monster? Where did they grow up?"  Of course they probably went to the Attila the Hun Academy of charm, for finishing school, and developed their people skills at the Don Rickles Institute of Tact. May the good lord look after whatever spouse awaits these creatures at their home bat cave or coven. It takes all kinds to make a world, I guess. I just thank the lord I didn’t end up in the retail or service industry. I wouldn’t have survived the first day.

                                             -30-

                                      (425 words)

                                Joseph Xavier  Martin