The Legend of Numbers

In the beginning there was only Zero; an immense, empty void of Zero-ness that could not be subtracted, divided or multiplied but because time had not yet been invented so things sometimes happened backwards and one very queer day a sum happened backwards; the sum 1-1 = 0, flipped backwards, became 0 - 1 = 1 and then, just like soap bubbles unbursting themselves from Summer air or snowflakes unmelting, so the first 1's were born.
There were 2 1's at first, just floating about haplessly in the void of Zero like tadpoles flicking their long tails.
But by themselves they could not multiply because they had to multiply by squaring themselves and 1 x1 = 1.
"1x1 is 1", they repeated in sad hopeless voices, trying desperately to multiply themselves by themselves, "1x 1 = 1".
But then, one day, the two 1's found each other and, love blooming between them, became 2, parent of all the even numbers and the first Prime number, as indivisible as that loving couple of 1's.
Now, united as 2, they could square themselves.
"2 x 2 is 4", they shouted happily together as they multiplied.
And when 4 was born there were 3 of them so then the mysterious number 3 came, like a shadow, into being and 4 and 3 together, in a union of triangle and square, created the awkward fawn 7, but 7 was not as stable as his even father and needed him for balance that is why whenever 4 or 7 are multiplied by a multiple of 3 their children are palindromes of each other 12 & 21; 24 & 42; 36 & 63; 48 & 84 and infinite or etinifni others.
But 4, not entirely happy with the awkward odd numbered child of he and 3 craved an even numbered child like himself and so, multiplying with 2, he gave birth to the muscular 8 who, combining the stability of his father and the unity of his mother, was stronger than both.
But then  4 and 1 made 5, who combined the stability of 4 with the power of a Prime number and 5 multiplying with 2 gave birth to the child of 10 and 10, because of his parentage, was powerful indeed, a roman general who regimented all the numbers into 10's and was father to one hundred, a thousand, a million; a whole decimal dynasty.
But then 3, jealous of 5's powerful child gave birth to 6, the oddest of the even numbers and her brother 9 but she and  9 were magical and mysterious numbers, that is why 6 is a perfect number equal to the mystical sum of her divisors 3, 2 and 1 and why every multiple of the wizard 9 has digits that add up to 9.
But then 4 and 7, because they were the harmonious father and son, together became 11, the number of symmetry whose children are all twins.
Finally, because her children 6 and 9 were so unruly, 3 thought she needed a child who was more stable and, because 4 is the number of stability, she multiplied with him and gave birth to 12.
But what about thirteen, you ask, why did it get such a bad reputation or 14 or 15 or the other numbers?
Well the progeny of the first twelve are so numerous, their line stretching longer than a hair of god, and it is impossible to tell the story of them all but, though your maths teacher will no doubt tell you it is all made up, ask a 98 or a 42 and he will tell you that is truly how numbers began.