zombie-nazi's part 1 the takeover

Zombie-nazi’s

Part one the takeover.

It’s hard to say when it began to fall apart.  Some say it began in America during the mid-seventies, when that well known crook Richard M. Nixon -before he donned his leather jacket and  fled off in his presidential chopper-  decided to bring  back the notion of  the power of the dollar,  and something called  “the Laffer curve”  over the gold standard.
       Some put it down to Thatcher and Reagan and the greed years of the 80’s; where breaking down the nation’s state assets was fun;  and opting for the  stocks and shares and the false notion of market forces held together by Yup’s, Filofaxes meetings and large shouldered workaholics;  who  preferred  cocaine  and coin, over a fair and equal  society. Some put it down to hegemony,  caused by companies coalescing  like cells to become  first small franchises  then conglomerates; and  finally  mega corporates, which strode  the world; making profit  from national slave  labour market; that  in turn,  took taxes away from the nation state and into private banks that were -in secret- tax havens so that a minority would survive,  not talked about.
         Some even  put it down to a national media bought and owned by three people and whom had an agenda of their own, which was really about making themselves richer and more influential than anyone else.   Who knows how it began, but it did.  It fell apart in drips and drabs,  and while  as it fell apart, amongst all of this coalescing chaos;  people stopped thinking, and started to eat their own brains.
       As I said,. No one knows who it was who started this weird craze.  I can imagine that it might have  been some  Etonion  boy, who had aspirations   of screwing the country up one day, possibly just after he shoved  his rather small penis  in the mouth of a roasted pigs head, all slimy and shiny and covered with crackling.
         Perhaps  it was some  unemployed doctor or perhaps a  dental hygienist, who, after a bitter day at work, took a long  hard look at their forehead,  one warm late afternoon in July  and thought to themselves: now… I wonder what  my brain  tastes like;  and, with  a look of delicious desire in their eyes  and with a  smile upon their wet shiny  lips decided   to slowly crack open their  skulls  and, with a silver spoon,  take out selected parts of their  temporal lobe;  seasoned –of course- with either honey or perhaps  some sea salt for taste.
         Perhaps it was  some dark, malign,  ancient  alien species, whom after travelling through the void of  space for  a millennia found our little planet of blue and green and thought to itself, “I know, I’ll plant this idea in their heads and see what happens, just for a laugh”  as you do;  however or   wherever  it came from,  this idea -of brain eating-  it quickly  became a secret  phenomenon.  The weird thing was no one was dying from this,well, not at first anyway.
         As I understand, this craze was  spread by  word of mouth.  Secret brain eating parties would take place in hidden locations all over the United Kingdom and Ireland,  where  groups of people would have their skulls opened and take out selected parts of their  brain matter  and  share it with fellow guests: just for laughs.  However, there was a problem.  The problem was, people were becoming fucking idiotic.
           It was 2010  that the zombie-nazi’s  began to appear.  Though they had been a part of the UK for years.  Prior  to that  the zombie-nazi had been –on the whole  forgotten or considered mad; after all, who would listen to a zombie braineater especially a zombie with right wing tendencies.  No one. Fuck off you zombie zombie brain eater, who do you think  your trying  to convice  with all your talk about  “ghrughhhs” and “gunhurrghhhs”  no one wants  to hear that bollocks so fuck off home an eat your brains in peace.  Stuff like that happened at my local all the  time in the noughties. They tended to prop up bars and mumble and slur and stagger about; and  on the whole  nobody listened, until one zombie nazi brain eater, Bob Garage, began  to appear on the  TV. 
        He started  appearing  just after a  bizarre helicopter crash, where  he was spotted eating the brain of his pilot. Though that part of the story was hushed up. After the  crash   Bob was seen as a national hero.  Why?  No one knew, he just was.  He would turn up in strange and bizarre places, like at a pizza hut   and say things like  “ffghrrrughnghhs”  or “dhgrsuurrghs  nnnnsrrdhghhdssshhsh”  and people  all around him would  suddenly  appear in the room and applause for no real  reason at all.  
          Then the political establishment would have  him  on the telly discussing the state of the nation and the now defunct  European Union.
          They would ask him, “well, bob what do you think of this?” or  “what do you think of that Bob”  and  Bob  would say something like “ghsghgsfsfghhurghhughghs”  and the commentator  would say “ well…that’s fascinating  Bob,  you definitely  know what your talking about.”   An so This went on until 2016 when the zombie nazi takeover  began in earnest.
         It came about because a now well-known brain eating  addict  nazi-zombie and –so  rumour had it- dead pig shagging-  prime minister of the time:  the infamous “Dodgy Dave, the pigshagger from Westeros”, completely fucked up the world.  He even had the balls to write about it in his memoirs, which  he called  the “Diary of a dead pig shagger from Westeros”.
          According  to Dodgy  Dave,  he thought that he could  stop Bob by giving  Bob what he wanted.  The fact is hardly anyone in the  UK knew what Bob Garage  wanted.  Mainly because he talked utter bollocks. The only  people  who knew what Bob was talking about were fellow brain eating soon to become nazi-zombies.  And they all sounded the same.   A sort of growl of agreement, if you can understand.  How the fecking BBC knew what Bob was talking about still amazes me to this day.   Oh, I’m drifting, anyhow,  Dave thought  he could  stop Bob Garage  from taking the UK into a national disaster that  would be the leaving of the EU. 
        So Dodgy Dave called Bob’s  bluff, but, by then,  over half the nation were well into brain eating and were becoming nazi zombies so the result was a certainty. 
         That day was bad.  Bob was everywhere  going  “shgfjsnfj” here and huurhhdghhghurgh”  there,  and all his zombie nazi mates were on facebook shouting  “hurghghusgh”  while attacking people  in the fecking streets.  Skulls were smashed and brains were every-fucking-where.   I took to the hills.  It was the safest place to be.  Me my wife  Rhiannan  and my children:   Elsie Nonnie and Glan.   We had to,  it was the safest thing to do.  I didn’t come back from the hills for twenty years . when we did. The UK was unrecognisable.