The Captains Table - Part 1

The Captains Table

Part 1

A play

By

Paul McCann

 

This play is set around a dinner table on a cruise ship out on the ocean in a place somewhere between the devil and the deep blue sea where some look for romance , like ships in the night ,or others in search of something more lasting,  like an anchor in their life . Then there are those others in need of an escape and so they sign up for a cruise to nowhere, but where ever they are and for whatever the reason they are there ,they all go where no one can follow , towards new horizons in search of a better tomorrow .

Yes it could never really be like this in reality . To be out there on the ocean with the captain and the crew , with nothing to do . No traffic or commotion just floating out on the ocean, like a spec at night with the stars up above and during the day they are castaways from life , under a big blue sky .

 

Cast of characters

The Captain

The Captains wife

Faith – The lover

Bill - The Policeman

Doc - The Doctor

Sid and Madge - The newlyweds

Nick - The Carer

Dave - The journalist

Dario - The Chef

The play begins

(She makes her way to the door of the dining room like an angel on the airs of grace pausing to talk to the Captain who is there at the door welcoming the passengers as they arrive for dinner. She pushed back her hair and smiled at the Captain and winked.)

 

Captain: “Hello Faith, would you please try to keep a low profile?”

Faith –“I’ll try my very hardest but sometimes my love, the heart rules the head . Well, tell me, what do you think?”

The Captain -:“Think about what?”

Faith -: “Don’t you notice anything different about me?”

The Captain -: “Ah of course. You have new glasses?”

Faith -: “No, take a closer look. ‘“

The Captain -:“New dress, isn’t it, yes and it’s very nice. The colour suits you?”

Faith -: “No, look again ‘“

Captain –“Ah, it must be the perfume “.

Faith -: “Wrong again.”

Captain: “New earrings?”

Faith -: “Give it up for Captain, so do you like my new hairstyle?

The Captain -: “I knew that’s what it was, I was just being silly. Yeah I like it and I think it makes you look much younger?”

Faith –“So are you saying I looked old before?”

The Captain -: “Of course not. It’s just another way of saying I like it.”

Faith –“You men, are all the same .You never say what you mean and you never mean what you say. So tell me who else is on the Captain’s table tonight. “

(A few more passengers make their way to the door and the Captain ushers Faith to one side and continues the conversation in a private space.)

 

Captain - “Well there’s a full table tonight, you and me, my wife and ...”

Faith: “Whoa , wait up did you say your wife?”

Captain “Yes, and her carer as well as our two little long haired Maltese terriers. “

Faith: “You have got to be kidding. “

Captain:” No I’m serious. “

Faith –“What, wait back up a minute did you say your wife is at the table tonight?”

Captain “Its fine, she doesn’t know you and you don’t know her. No problem.”

Faith: ‘No way love I’m not coming to dinner. ‘

Captain –“Its only for tonight, she’s getting off tomorrow. She’s seeing a specialist in Miami so please calm down. I need you to be at the table tonight.”

Faith –“You expect me to sit and eat with you and your wife. I’ll choke:”

Captain: “Faith relax. She can’t eat and her medication makes her sleepy. So just put up with her there for a little while. Please can you do this for me?”

Faith “The dogs are coming as well?”

Captain –“They’ll be in a cage behind her electric wheelchair, see now, nothing to worry about. “

Faith:-”What about her carer?”

Captain: His job is just to bring her to the table, spoon feed her and bring her back to her room. You know very well I love you and need you so don’t make an issue of this.’

Faith:-”Who else is at the table?”

Captain –“They’re a mixed bunch , a doctor , a police officer , a journalist and two 83 year  old newlyweds .:”

Faith –“83 year old’s, my goodness what a wonderful way to spend their honeymoon I just hope they make it to the table ok.  ?”

Captain –“Their local senior citizens club purchased them a mystery cruise for a wedding gift so here they are?”

Faith:” I thought they didn’t do mystery cruises anymore? “

Captain - “I’m told they are now called cruises to nowhere.”’

Faith: Talking about honeymoons I hope we don’t have to wait until we’re 83 to get a cruise to nowhere. I’m talking about now for you and me. How long must we wait? “

Captain - “Well the specialist in Florida was saying she might have six months left but they’re not sure. Now she made an appointment in Miami tomorrow with another specialist as she wants a second opinion. I’m sure it won’t be too long my love.  Just be patient. “

Faith - “Patient is a long word. They said a year ago she wouldn’t survive more than a month and here she is,. She’s still here.”

Captain - “I’ know, listen after we have dinner and she’ gone to bed, I’ll come around to your room and we’ll have a little nightcap. That will be a nice way to end of the day and tomorrow she’ll be gone. “

Faith – “What’s on the menu?”

Captain – “Well I can’t wait to sample the creations of our new five star chef .They call him the stormy gourmet. Hard to get on with and constantly sings but he’s on the list of the top ten best chefs in the world. “

Faith –“So what’s he cooking for us tonight and has he got a name?”

Captain -“They call him Double D and tonight his dish for us is called , The Captains surprise. Don’t know much else about it?

Some of the crew approached the Captain and they had a quiet word with him.  Faith noticed he looked concerned. The Captain nodded a few times and they left.

Faith: “Is there a problem “.

Captain: ‘Nothing major. It seems the new chef has just had a few drinks and was singing loudly in the bar and one of the passengers told him to keep his voice down. There was almost an incident, thankfully the ships security intervened. So now I have to go and settle the matter. Just some conflict resolution stuff. ” 

Faith - “Sounds like you might have trouble in the kitchen.” 

Captain - “Good chefs are hard to find these days and talented people do have moods. Sometimes passengers can be very demanding and arrogant.  See you in about a half hour at my table and don’t stress, it will be fine. “

(The Captain walked away and Faith was about to wave and blow a kiss when she saw a woman in an electric wheelchair making her way over the table. She had 2 small dogs in a cage that was mounted behind her wheelchair. Beside her was her carer who kept up with the wheelchair. With one hand he was pulling a trolley with an oxygen tank on it and with his other hand he carried a face mask and some plastic tubing.  The woman in the wheelchair steered her way to the Captains table where the carer proceeded to administer some oxygen to her. Faith watched from a distance as one by one the other guests arrived to the Captains table. Then she went over and sat down herself for dinner.  Faith looked uneasy and she stared at the Captain when he arrived at the table and sat down).

Faith: “Excuse me I need to go to the bathroom “

The Captain sensed something was wrong and asked to be excused from the table. He caught up with Faith outside the games room. It was dark and no one was around.

Captain: “Hey, what’s your problem? “

Faith: “It’s nothing, I just need some space. “

Captain: “I’ve known you for a while and I know somethings wrong. What’s your problem?”

Faith: “You had to bring her here. Didn’t you? “

Captain: (He put his arms around her)” You know I love you Faith so what’s

the problem?”

(The Chef was sitting nearby, unseen and overheard their conversation. When the Captain and Faith embraced, the chef made an exit unnoticed)

Faith: “I really wish you had told me that she was coming on the cruise. “

Captain -“Ok, don’t make me feel guilty. Relax. Come on. “

Faith-” You know we have something special. So how do you think I feel. Do you think I am ok with her at our table making eyes at you and talking as if she’s yours? “

Captain-“What are you talking about Faith? ‘“

Faith –“We have a relationship and she’s not part of that. This woman is nothing to me and I don’t even know why she is here?”

Captain –“Can’t you just ignore her. I’ve never seen you act like this before. “

“Faith-‘What’s the point trying to make you understand. I am now a captive here. There’s nowhere for me to go. This evening will now be a bad memory for me. “

Captain- “Somehow I thought you would accept her in our company. It shouldn’t change the way we feel about each other.”

Faith-“Can we just drop it. You know what.  I need to eat something. How long before dinner will be served? “

Captain-: “Not too much longer ok, so let’s do that. Let’s return to our table and have a few drinks and pretend she’s not even there. “

Faith- (Laughing) “It’s kind of weird isn’t it?”

Captain -“Weird, like how?”

 

Faith – “Me at your table eating with your wife and she has no idea that we are lovers. “

 

Both of them began to laugh.

Captain-“True, listen you go back first and I’ll be there shortly.”

Faith made her way back to the Captains table and sat down beside the newlyweds . She looked at them and tried to be friendly.

Faith – “My what a beautiful couple you are. How did you both meet?”

The Husband: - “We met at our over 80’s singles social club.”

The Wife - “We went on outings together for over three years .”‘

The Husband “- Well I said to Madge, about a month ago.  Madge you know what ever since we met , I’ve never been attracted to another woman  . “

The Wife: - “And I looked at Sid and said, you know what Sid neither have I. “

The Husband:-“And then we both burst out laughing and that’s when I asked her to marry me and there and then she said she would and we’re still laughing. “

The Wife : :Well thing is I told him , Sid we’re not getting any younger , then I said , we better not waste any more time . Let’s do that thing with the ring. “  

 

Everybody started to laugh and at that moment The Captain returned to the table and sat down. There was a lull in the laughter and everyone looked at the Captain.

 

The Captains Wife – (Coughing and spluttering) ‘Well how nice of you to join us Darling. “

 

The Captain -“Sorry everyone I had a little problem to sort out. Well you all seem to be getting acquainted which is good.  Now that you have all got to know one another. May I say hello and how welcome you are to the Captains table.”

 

 

 

Everyone responded and applauded and laughed .There was a warm atmosphere there and the Captain called over the waiter.

 

Captain”- “A bottle of the Captains favourite French Champagne please. “  

 

The waiter – “Of Course Captain. “  

 

Faith-: So Captain, now that you’re with us maybe you could share a little about your life. How long have you been at sea?”

 

Captain-‘“Actually I was born on a ship. My parents were Irish emigrants on their way to Ellis Island, so I guess I’ve been at sea all my life. “

The Captains Wife- (Stopping for a breath between words) “He always gets asked that question. I’m his wife by the way. “

 

The doctor at the table stood up and went over to her side. Suddenly she began shaking and the Doctor assisted to make her more comfortable. He loosened her clothing and asked the carer for help. They took her out of the wheelchair and placed her on the ground in an open space. The Doctor asked the carer for a brief handover of her condition and what medications she was prescribed. After a few moments the episode passed and she was ok.  Her carer handed a list of her medication and suggested she be returned to her room for a rest. The doctor and the carer placed her back into her wheelchair.

 

Carer: - “You will have to excuse us everyone, I’ll just put her to bed now .Think she’s had enough excitement for one day .Good night everyone .We’ll be disembarking in the morning Captain.”

 

Captain:-“If there is anything she needs let me know. I’ll see that things are taken care of. You have my phone number?”

 

The Carer –‘Yes, I’ll call you later this evening to let you know how she is. “

 

Doctor: - “I am here if you should need me before you leave, just call.  Here is my card. … (The doctor produced a business card from his suit pocket). 

 

Carer: - “Thank you I will, Good night. “

The carer switched over the control to manual and made an exit just before the waiter brought the brought the food plates on a tray.

 

Doctor: How long has your wife had MS Captain?”

 

Captain: - “She was diagnosed ten years ago. More recently she started having seizures and now she has a problem with her liver.”

The waiter placed a plate in front of everyone except for the Captain.

 

Faith -: “Excuse me, what kind of fish is that?

 

Waiter-“Its Sea Perch madam.”

 

 

 

Captain “- Looks tasty, is that a cheese sauce its swimming in?”

 

Waiter: - ‘Captain, that’s the Chef’s own recipe and he refuses to share that secret with anyone. He calls it , a seafood surprise. Your plate is coming soon Captain. The Chef is just adding a few extra decorations. ‘

 

The Waiter left and everyone waited for the Captain’s plate to arrive before they started eating .The champagne arrived and the Captain was offered a glass first. He nodded his approval before everyone had their glass filled. The captain raised his glass and everyone else did the same.

 

 

Captain –“I have a few good reasons for drinking and one has just entered my head , if I can’t drink when I’m living how the hell can I drink when I’m dead .“

 

Policeman –“I’ll drink to that. “

 

Everyone laughed and they all emptied their glass. The waiter arrived with the Captains dinner and they all started to eat.  

 

Doctor: - Are you ok Captain?”

 

Captain :- ( He seemed to be choking) “Can’t breathe”

 

Faith –“Oh my God what’s the matter?”

 

The Captain collapsed and the Doctor rushed to attend. He checked for breathing and immediately began CPR and after a minute he asked if someone could take over. The Policeman obliged. The doctor checked for a pulse.

 

Doctor –“I’m very sorry to say the Captain is dead. “

 

Faith-(Screaming aloud) “He can’t be dead.”

(The policeman noted the reaction of Faith and began to take an interest)

 

Doctor –“Sorry, there is nothing that can be done.”

 

Faith –“You’re a Doctor, can’t you do something?”

 

Doctor –“I’m just a doctor. I can’t raise the dead.”’

 

Faith –“(Crying uncontrollably) Oh no, please this can’t be.

 

(The Policeman went over beside Faith and put his arms around to comfort her and asked)

 

The Policeman-:”So have you known the Captain for very long?”

Faith-”Ah no, I just met him tonight. The thing is it’s just so frightening to have someone pass away right in front of you like that. I’m just shocked. “

 

The Doctor went over and quietly spoke to the Policeman 

 

The Doctor –“Could I have a word in private with you officer?

 

They walked away into a private space. The Doctor looked troubled.

 

Policeman –“What’s the problem Doc?”

 

 Doctor –“I think something is not right here. “

 

Policeman -: What are you trying to tell me, do you think a crime has been committed?”

 

Doctor – “Well the colour of the Captains skin is almost cherry red in colour which is a sign of poisoning. It could indicate foul play or a possible suicide.”

Continues . Part 2.