It turned out Izzie had an alternative motive

This is the problem with Izzies.

They're a problematic bunch.

I've met four that I know of

plus an Isabelle who was perfectly nice

and maybe that proves my point.

Only one of them broke my heart.

The first worked on the tills at Safeway

her mum was friends with my mum.

When we were £30 down three Saturdays in a row

she was the only common denominator.

The second lived on the floor above me at university.

She always interrupted when we were watching TV.

Why didn't she wait for the adverts?

It was the third Izzie who broke my heart

and the fourth ruined my 29th birthday party with sick

and not apologising.

She kept talking about tactical voting.

She had this theory about tactical voting.

'It's all about tactical voting' she kept saying

and then someone took her upstairs to the spare room.