Skype poems
By mcmanaman
- 1034 reads
A system like the sun.
I have started setting my alarm for 6 am but if I slept til the afternoon no-one would notice. Yesterday I bought my first ever lottery ticket and...
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- 612 reads
Little dreamchoke
I blame the positioning of my bedroom furniture. The wardrobe isn't where it should be and the bed needs to be along the other wall. I need to swap...
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- 1205 reads
Noel Gallagher
You should watch the video to our song 'Whatever' it's one of our best songs. Back then I could write a guitar solo as easy as buttering bread in the...
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- 515 reads
There's a lot of it going around
'There's a lot of it going around' I say to a policeman who is in my flat telling me the ginger girl upstairs has been threatened by an ex-boyfriend...
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- 646 reads
Sad eggs
Sad eggs. I am abroad thinking of all the times we were abroad. It's a special thing, going somewhere you've never been with someone you have baths...
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- 692 reads
101 Great Goals
The person you used to drink champagne with now cries himself to sleep and you carry on regardless. On your shelves you have two videos: 101 Great...
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- 556 reads
The museum of the thing
'I'm thinking of putting my bed into the spare room and everything from the spare room into my bedroom' you said in lieu of an acceptance speech. You...
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- 1009 reads
Nod your head when asking the customer what they'd like
It's her first day and she has already changed the radio station that plays from the speakers fixed to the wall by the fish tank, pantings for sale...
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- 465 reads
A trip to the cardiologist
Pads pressed down on stomach flabs and told to relax and take normal breaths and I close my eyes because it might hurt but when the pattern on the...
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- 794 reads
Setting fire to people and things
You go through life setting fire to villages then running along to the next one where you start from scratch and say hello I'm new here and people...
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- 1080 reads
Follow the yellow car
"Follow that yellow car" I shout to the taxi driver and he steps on it probably thinking 'Finally I get to follow something. I've never done a car...
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- 389 reads
Fat lot of good it did me
I packed my bags three days before I was going away. Passport in the zip pocket. No clothes or toiletries becasue I'd buy fresh when I'd settled in...
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- 416 reads
It turned out Izzie had an alternative motive
This is the problem with Izzies. They're a problematic bunch. I've met four that I know of plus an Isabelle who was perfectly nice and maybe that...
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- 485 reads
You had such a nice nose
I used to have nice eyes I'd get compliments once a fortnight and I remember my dad once saying he was good at football at my age as we ran around...
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- 462 reads
My summer job was as a lifeguard at the swimming pool.
I think the two people in the flat next door are teachers. I see them on the stairs, a canvas bag filled with exercise books I don’t they they’re a...
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- 567 reads
We won so we get to write the history
I recently saw the two history teachers from my school holding hands through the market place. Both of them long retired, trying on hats then looking...
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- 405 reads
Time Out Guide to Paris
Next year I'll be the same age as Princess Diana when she died. I'm going to work out the moment I'll outlive her and if I make it everyone can come...
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- 918 reads
You had such nice eyes
I used to have nice eyes. I'd get compliments once a fortnight and I remember my dad once saying he was good at football at my age as we ran around...
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- 822 reads
Hot sad nights
We don't sleep at night anymore.. It's too hard, like sitting an exam you haven't revised for or your first day as a chef when you lied on your CV...
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- 465 reads
The doctor is very beautiful
Both paramedics have muddy trousers from knee to ankle I don't know if they have spares in the ambulance, or socks you can't be a paramedic in wet...
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- 333 reads
The ceiling spotlight flicked on
You found her diary inside a cook book and now you don't know what to do. You knew she could cook but you didn't know she could draw like that. You'...
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- 331 reads
IF you fall asleep in your dream you die
which is why I'm always falling asleep in other people's dreams. I sneak in, unnoticed and climb into a bed. If you dream a train is coming and you'...
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- 321 reads
Rules for game
I explain to everyone on the plane I’ve invented a game that can only be played on long haul flights. If anyone doesn’t want to join in that’s fine...
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- 708 reads
Out of a lump of clay
I have been telling babies their manuscripts Will often be turned down without the first line being read And it’s hard, watching the babies...
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- 482 reads
because you like horror stories
I have been scaring myself shitless every night reading lesser known Stephen King novels and watching 1980s Japanese ghost movies I’ve read about on...
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- 491 reads
Chas and Dave
Ayesha is from Margate but her kids have never been there. There’s never been anything to go back for but her friend is getting married so we’re here...
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- 286 reads
Dancing
We are only ever as happy as the last text message we received. The onomatopoeia of angst. Good dreams are on the top floor and we’re standing in the...
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- 279 reads
Rave's off
Now that most people use laptops trains aren’t allowed to have windows anymore. People with beards wouldn’t type so loudly if they knew their...
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- 276 reads
Shopping with kids
Ayesha always went shopping on Sunday afternoons, both kids in the back. Let’s get this over quick as we can. She hates driving but needs to put...
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- 1652 reads
Milk
She says she’s lactose intolerant but I think she just misses her dad, a milkman, who sat down on his armchair two Boxing Days ago and never work up...
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- 648 reads
Out of a lump of clay
I have been telling babies their manuscripts will often be turned down without the first line being read and it’s hard, watching the babies...
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- 544 reads
A head of dirty furniture
The for sale sign is in your hedge again The Friday night pisshead are always in the gardens Between the only pub in town and the new Housing estate...
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- 289 reads
The foolishness begins immediately
We stole a police car on our honeymoon. It's something we've both always wanted to do. The first time we met, set up by mutual friends we couldn't...
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- 339 reads
Flexibility
The whole idea is to be sad for as little time as possible. That's what I've figured out so far. I don't know what to do with nostalgia I prefer...
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- 479 reads
What are electrons?
When our physics teacher died we didn't have to do physics anymore. The headmaster wrote a letter to the exam board. Equations still on the...
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- 466 reads
Since I've seen koalas
I don't call it spag bol anymore I call it spaghetti bolognese and describe certain people as the type of person who says 'spag bol.' She's been...
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- 256 reads
A poetry collection has to use the word 'water.'
Spooky Water Scientific Water Austrian Water Not My Water Cylindrical Water Waterfall Water Sunshine Water Bodily Water Secret Water Wellington Water...
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- 266 reads
In the woods ... WHAT? In the woods!!
I actively encourage the recurring dream of a cartoon bear wearing my pyjamas. He's part of the family now. At first it was just a dream of a bear...
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- 530 reads
CRY CRY SUFFER SUFFER
Your next door neighbour's painted your house for free your next door neighbour gives you leftovers your next door neighbour has invited you to the...
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- 379 reads
What were the skies like when you were young?
There is a disco ball so everything is okay no-one else is here yet they've gone for a walk along the cliffs, boxes of wine in their rucksacks. They...
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- 314 reads
Club Anthems 2001
So many things are replaced by jogging. All the Thetford forest illegal ravers are listening to cycling podcasts now. The last time I saw you was in...
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- 260 reads
Bringing down the birds
I have never walked across this field before it's not one of those fields for walking across it has crops that are probably important but it's been...
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- 281 reads
Better things
The first time I told you I love you was by text I was in the back seat of a taxi with no shoes on and I could barely make out your reply because of...
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- 275 reads
I called you on your birthday
You were in the garden. I phone to say how sad it was we couldn't all be there you said it's fine isn't it surprising what life throws at us...
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- 1084 reads
Is the local still the local?
When I was at sixth form We went to the same pub every Friday night The bar staff knew our names. Phil the Landlord used to make us sandwiches. He...
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- 734 reads
It starts to form a habit
You order things online becasue you like pacakages arriving in the post. It's always the same person delivering. He's called Andy. He used to wear a...
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- 261 reads
This lockdown has made me dance
I heard someone on the radio say there isn't a moment when their hips aren't moving and I thought of the way I walk from room to room, how I get up...
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- 470 reads
That would be a scream
Last night I watched a horror movie I don't know which one, I was drunk and typed 'horror movies' into a search engine and I don't remember anything...
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- 231 reads
I already told you in the first verse
I explained it to you in the swimming pool. I don't want to have to go through it all again. Cycling home you asked if I was certain. A cycle lane is...
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- 245 reads
You arrive at the dinner party at midnight
and don't apologise for being late, you help yourself to a bread roll from the basket on the side leftover from the starters. A man I don't know is...
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- 322 reads
We'll see you in April
When I answer my phone I have nothing to say and neither do they but it feels good to have my phone to my ear, like when I had a globe shaped pencil...
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- 625 reads
Rather than trying to behave and not feel our rage or rather than using it to burn down every living thing in a hundred mile radius it is better to first ask rage to take a seat with us.
My dad has a teatowel that says Keep Calm and Have a Cup of Tea but he doesn't. He frets, and maybe that's the reason I enjoyed Trainspotting so much...
Fractured silly ankle
But let's focus on my good ankle, the one the surgeon didn't even look at I am touching it now and smiling, its tendons firm like elevator cables the...
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- 479 reads
Three key success factors for transforming your business
When someone says hi how are you? you should tell them about your drinking problem and how much you miss your brother. There's a photograph of him...
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- 517 reads
Cut my hair put on a shirt
You tell me about your previous client a regular, one of your first customers from 1999. You make it clear you don’t often talk about people who come...
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- 348 reads
Bang bang bang went the gunpowder
Everything is sad now apart from the happy things so I guess we can concentrate on those. It will all be over soon, a nun tells me, every day when I...
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- 244 reads
Sinister and bright over the land
You sold your house to find out how it would feel to sell your house and now you have nothing. The plan was to grow things but instead you're just...
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- 240 reads
Darren Bett
We used to go round to dinner with a man who collected weather vanes. We'd have big Sunday lunches there. He always ate at 3pm which my mum hated but...
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- 534 reads
Having a heart attack. Back home later.
This film is bad but I’m going to keep watching. People have been through much worse than this My friend is in hospital she had to call the ambulance...
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- 408 reads
Stupid moon
We were there for the eclipse, people say sometimes when telling a happy story about a time they were in Cornwall or the north of France with friends...
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- 988 reads
Somehow the sea was always there to make you feel stupid
We have bought the campervan the only thing left now is the running away. The last customer to ever use the post office before it closed down bought...
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- 445 reads
Like being in a snow storm without a shovel
I'd already eaten a big breakfast the day I entered the Coney Island hot dog eating contest. The house we were staying in had a good bakery down the...
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- 241 reads
A prompt is a cue
Sometimes if I hear an aeroplane I book a holiday. If I hear an ambulance I cancel my next day's plans. You know those few seconds before someone...
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- 321 reads
Hi small girl
We are in the cinema and you are with probably your dad. They're showing ET. It's some kind of anniversary I've always said cinemas should show more...
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- 361 reads
Hot dreams
The chefs are cycling uphill to their flat, three of them all in sleeping bags on the floor of their rented room above a chip shop. I once watched a...
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- 450 reads
Flowers are so expensive
'Half price for sad people' said the sign on the window and the queue was all the way down Unthank Road. To make their money back the florist charged...
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- 251 reads
What do you mean they’re not here?
I am patient with you becasue of your fear of being broken into. It's happeend three times before in three different parts of town, over ten years...
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- 176 reads
Every time I come around here, same drama
It's exhausting, being in someone else's house. You are staying with people who like nature, they seemed surprised when you told them you'd be...
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- 208 reads
Quentin and Roald
If Roald Dahl didn’t have a shed, Charlie would never have gone to the chocolate factory, Or maybe he would have gone there, somewhere, in his...
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- 186 reads
80
I'm happy to go at eighty. Two of my friends, both called Matthew died in their thirties and maybe if they hadn't shared a name it wouldn't have hit...
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- 210 reads
Post-jogging
With hills like this you’d be silly not to make yourself some playlists, put some headphones on and go running, or at least on fast walks that make...
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- 363 reads
Where was the tenderness lost
In our stripey t-shirts we say that although things are different now let’s always be here for each other and we both get in our waiting taxis that...
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- 424 reads
The Inglorious Years
It took two years to even be vaguely sure She was in the right place, constantly not phoning her parents, I will do this on my own. Travelling alone...
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- 200 reads
Your hair smells of boxes
Your dog smells like toast and the new book you bought to cheer yourself up does not deserve the glowing reviews. Just because your plants are dead...
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- 298 reads
Every day or nearly every day
I walk around Waterlook Park and nearly always there will be someone else walking in the opposite direction, we'll have arrived at roughly the same...
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- 180 reads
They burnt my barn and stole my horse
Some people solve their problems by burning and stealing. I solve my problems by hoping everything will be different one day. I’ve never been good at...
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- 359 reads
90 miles an hour is the speed I drive
Some people really like driving. In July I drove to Wales in a hire car Not for any reason, it’s just sometimes I like to drive to Wales. I like to...
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- 360 reads
Hope upon hope fastened to a rope
Northumberland singer-songwriters are able to articulate things the rest of us are barely capable of. In some pubs it’s impossible not to order...
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- 243 reads
I am my own ancestor
I am tracing the family tree of me. I'm trying to work out the geneology of my own life. I'd like to know who I really am. What makes me happy I...
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- 262 reads
From Scotland with Love
I know I said I'd send you photographs of my haggis but I was so hungry and I rarely think about anything when I'm about to start a big meal. Eating...
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- 225 reads
We'll find a place to roam
My friend lives on a boat. She pats strangers dogs and orders off-menu in cafes on side streets most people would just walk past. On your birthday...
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- 362 reads
I never thought it would happen
The PE teacher spends every lesson focussing on overhead kicks. For the whole lesson they lay on their backs, trying to score the perfect goal...
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- 414 reads
Halloween
The trick or treaters are singing Christmas songs. 'It saves us from coming round twice,' the tallest of them explains, wearing a Santa hat and a...
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- 545 reads
chri
Christmas trees are so beautiful. It's the best thing about December. I like to take photographs through windows of other people's front rooms and...
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- 503 reads
The night shift is waiting for the morning
My friend Dan works in a potato factory and he's started to get into shape so when we meet we run around the lake near his house. We start off gently...
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- 179 reads
Dry the Rain
You put your washing on the line when the weather forecast was for the big yellow sunshine and the travel reporter said all the roads are clear and...
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- 379 reads
Lost and looking
Remember about heartbreak I say to the couple kissing but they don't hear me because of a motorbike going past. I'm trying to find the cafe my...
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- 546 reads
Yes I do feel better
I made friends with someone who ran a jazz bar. It was the third time I'd been there that I realised I should say hi, I'm John, I don't like jazz but...
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- 318 reads
I wonder how I'll sleep at night
It's been a long time since I had an all-nighter but I remember them well. We wouldn't even mention the sun was rising, we were so used to it,...
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- 299 reads
Bbydhyonchord
I am going to a wedding on Saturday, There will be bottles of Champagne for the main few people there and when the corks pop they will know exactly...
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- 247 reads
Collaborations don't work
This is enough, all the mums say. Everyone knew someone at primary school who pushed on the roundabout too hard. 'It would be easier if this child...
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- 296 reads
(two tall mountains)
A series of postcards of mountain ranges, the Appalachians and the Southern Alps, all of them stamped and posted to an address in Glasgow’s Southside...
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- 292 reads
On Certainty
On Saturdays we get a Guardian delivered it's always through our door at 8.55 the regularity makes us feel good that someone is in a routine their...
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- 359 reads