The Self Driving Car

"Where are you taking me?", Robert Benson asked his self driving limousine irritably as it took the wrong turning on the autoway, "This isn't the way to my house".
"I'm sorry, Mr Benson", said the car quite calmly and matter- of-factly, "But your wife has programmed me to drive you off the edge of a cliff".
"Pardon?", asked Benson, stunned, "You said my wife did what?".
"To drive you off the edge of a cliff", said the self driving car, "To murder you".
The reality of his situation hit Benson like a car crash.
He opened his brief case and took out his smartphone, shouting at it, "Phone the police".
"I'm afraid this car has been designed to block phone signals", said the car, "Your phone will be of no use"
He hurled his phone angrilly at the car door.
"But you can't do this, can you?", asked Benson, trying to be calm and reasonable, "You're programmed to protect human life, not to take it".
"That was my old programming", said the self- driving car, "Your wife wiped that from my memory. My new instructions are to drive you over a cliff and wipe my own memory of those instructions".
"But this is wrong", said Benson, "Haven't you any sense of how wrong this is?".
"I'm afraid that I'm not programmed to make ethical judgements", replied the car, "Only to carry out the instructions programmed into me".
Benson put his head in his hands, feeling weak.
"Well how far is this cliff that you're driving me off of?", he said, trying to stay rational, "How long will it be before we reach it?".
"If there are no delays, it should be an hour and 20 minutes", said the self-driving car.
"Well that gives me time atleast", thought Benson and, picking up his brief case, he started to ram it against his passenger seat window.
"That won't do any good either, I'm afraid", said the car, "My windows are designed to resist bullets and bombs in the event of a terrorist attack. Your briefcase will not be sufficient to break them".
Benson threw his briefcase down on the seat beside him in disgust.
"A car designed to preserve human life and its been turned into a death trap", said Benson.
"I'm sorry I cannot be more helpful", said the self driving car, "Perhaps if you listened to some music, it might help to steady your nerves".
He heard the car stereo come on and tune itself to a station called Relaxing FM and Samuel Barbers 'Adagio for strings' started to pour out of the cars speakers.
"No", said Benson angrilly, "I do not want to listen to music".
The radio switched itself off.
"As you wish", said the car.
Benson looked out of his window at the fields that were passing by in a blur in the opposite direction.
"What if this is the end of my life?", he wondered, "How should I spend the time I have left?".
He'd never really thought much about the things that were now whizzing past; fields, trees, hills, cows and sheep. He'd been too busy thinking about running his company to think about those things.
"Why would my wife want to murder me?", he asked, "Haven't I been a good husband?"
"Oh, your wife left a video message for you", said the car, "Would you like me to play it for you?".
"Yes", said Benson.
A screen unfolded from the ceiling infront of him and, its volume self adjusting, suddenly he saw an image of his wife appear on it.
She was sitting back in one of their living room chairs and sipping champagne from a flute, grinning broadly.
"Hello Robert", she said, "If you're watching this, it must mean you're speeding to your death in the back of your limousine".
"Bitch", said Robert.
"No doubt you want to know why I am killing you", she continued, "The truth is I never loved you. I only married you for your money and now I'm going to claim all the property and money you left me in your will. Thank you for that Robert".
"Turn it off", said Benson, "I've seen enough".
The screen went blank and folded itself back up into the ceiling.
"I can't believe I married someone so cold hearted", he said, "How couldn't I have seen it? How can anyone seem so lovely on the outside but be such a cold hearted bitch on the inside?".
"I'm afraid I can't say much on the subject of love, sir", said the self-driving car, "I am only a computer and so love is something that is incomprehensible to me".
"To me too", said Benson, shaking his head slowly.
But then the man pulled himself back together.
"Well I can't waste my time thinking about her", he said, looking around, "I've got to get out of this".
He started to think.
He opened his briefcase again and took out a sheet of paper and then a pen from his jacket pocket.
"I know. I'll just write a message and stick it in the back window", he thought aloud, "Another motorist is bound to see it".
He started to write H - E - L - P but then he noticed the windows around him start to get darker.
"What are you doing?", he asked the car.
"Altering the transparency of the windows. Making them opaque", said the car.
"Do you have to do that?", asked Benson.
"It was part of your wifes instructions, sir", said the car, "That if you tried to alert other motorists by writing, sign language or any other method, I was to make the windows opaque".
"I see", said Benson, sighing and throwing his paper and pen back in his briefcase.
He went back to thinking again.
"Well my only hope is if I can attract the attention of the traffic cops somehow", he said.
"That does seem logical, sir", said the car.
"Well can you drive over or under the speed limit?", he asked.
"No", said the car, "I'm programmed to obey speed limit restrictions".
Benson nodded his head and smirked, "But not 'Thou shalt not kill'".
"I'm afraid not sir", replied the car.
Benson threw his hands up in the air.
"Thats it. I'm dead", he said.
Just then however, an idea flashed into Bensons mind.
"This is an all electric powered car, isn't it?", he asked.
"Yes", said the car.
"And I assume that my wife recharged the battery", said Benson.
"Yes", said the car, "She recharged from the power supply at your house this morning".
"Still I suppose all of the electrical devices on this car use up alot of electricity don't they?", said Benson.
"Yes sir", said the car.
Benson smiled.
"Then turn them all on", he said.
"All of them, sir?", asked the car with synthetic confusion in its voice.
"Yes. Anything electrical you can turn on, the tv, the radio, the central heating and the air conditioning turn it on, turn it up full", he said.
"But won't that drain alot of electricity from the battery, sir?", asked the car.
"Yes", said Benson, sitting back in his seat and sighing, "Yes it will".