Growing Up

6 years old.

Summer.

Innocence.

It's all fun and games.

Sunshine and rainbows.

Not much to remember.

A smile plastered across everyone's face.

Everyone went to school.

Came back to their beautiful home,

Kissed their mommy and daddy goodnight and slept peacefully in their soft expensive bed,

Everyone seemed happy.

The real world unknown.

Eventually kindergarten turns into first grade.

And soon 6 years old is gone.

 

11 years old.

Fall is here.

You're moving up.

You're graduating from your elementary years.

The guidance you once had is fading.

It was all fun and games,

But little do you know

All that is about to change.

 

13 years old.

A harsh winter is rolling in.

Elementary is now undergrad.

Things are getting real.

Suddenly people seem more grown-up.

More judgemental.

Meaner.

Harsher.

As the winds get when a storm is about to break.

It was all sunshine and rainbows.

But the clouds showed up.

And they hide the light you've been following your whole existence.

And suddenly you don't know where you are anymore.

You're lost and you don't know where to go.

You struggle to find your exit,

When you should have been finding yourself.

You never see it coming.

It happens all of a sudden.

And when it finally hits you, it's too late.

And 13 years old is gone.

 

15 years old.

Winter is coming to an end.

Time is running out quickly.

You're in high school.

You think these four years will be a breeze.

You think you'll be out as soon as you got in.

But college is right around the corner.

You failed to find yourself in middle school.

You're still lost, but you don't know it yet.

You have a future ahead.

Only you can determine it.

But school isn't the only thing that's about to change.

 

21 years old.

Spring.

You're all grown up.

Your view of the world has changed.

Sunshine and rainbows don't seem to appear as often as before.

A deep scowl plastered across everyone's face.

People on the streets holding cups filled with nothing but hope that someone will look at them one day and have enough empathy and place what's worth a quarter into it.

People go to work,

Return to whatever their form of shelter may be.

Maybe if you're not too busy, call your parents.

Complain about all the stress on your back.

Lay in your bed and close your eyes.

Tossing and turning.

Knowing what could be going on in the streets of your own neighborhood.

You now know what people in this world are capable of.

It's been happening all along.

The only difference is now, you don't have your parents around anymore.

No more shield protecting you.

You now need to face all the things you've been taught to ignore in the past.

And you don't sleep as peacefully at night any longer.

 

30 years old.

You think the cycle is complete.

You're married.

You have a job.

You have a house than you could have imagined.

Aren't you supposed to be happy?

 

Your house is empty.

Your marriage is on the brink of breakage.

Your job doesn't make you happy.

Suddenly you realize everything you thought was perfect for your parents wasn't after all.

 

You realize those fireworks you used to hear at night weren't really fireworks.

They were gunshots.

You realize those families you used to see running at the park weren't really playing tag.

They were running from the dangers of each other.

You realize when your dad disappeared, he wasn't really on a business trip.

Your parents were splitting up.

Your eyes are finally open to the tragedies of the world.

How it is falling apart day by day and piece by piece.

You believe you have to glue to put it back together,

But you don't.

Fate is not in your hands.

And it drives you insane that you're not in control like you used to be.

And the world is now a foreign place.

And you're scared that danger will follow you wherever you go.

So now, you don't know where to go.

 

65 years old.

Seasons and time of the years don't seem to matter anymore.

You're older now.

You are now an expert of the world's obstacles.

Your children are protecting you.

Shielding you from anyone of anything that can hurt you to keep you alive and healthy.

And suddenly you feel 6 years old all over again.

You watch your grandchildren run around in the yard with smiles plastered across their faces.

You treasure these moments forever.

Because you know those smiles won't last forever.

Sunshine and rainbows are non-existent now.

Your whole world is painted black and white.

You are nothing but a shadow of what the world reflects on you.

And it makes you miserable.

But the memories are what color your world again.

Now you realize that the hardest part of growing up is letting go of what you're used to,

And moving on with something you're not.