A Potted History Of England and Eventually Scotland : by Mr Alfred N.Muggins

Writings of Mr A.N.Muggins, whilst under the influence of red wine ( Don’t worry he did not do any driving whilst under the influence. It was an honest attempt to write a definitive potted history of England, including Scotland after the accession of James the first (and 6^th of Scotland) and the Union of Parliaments under Queen Anne, and failing only due to lack of patience and the need to do his ablutions.)

The Dislocation of the Monasteries, which went back to Henry’s time. He discombobulated them once and for all, requisitioning them for the War effort against France. With a Little Help From His Friends he shook Auld England up and made it more efficient so that in the future it could be a world superpower and go head to head with the Germans, after dealing with The Hapsburgs and the Bourbon biscuits and the Upstart Napoleon. England liberated the Garibaldis, and upset the Nasty Nazis, thus freeing the remaining Jews and granting independence to all its erstwhile colonies and dependencies.

(PS : the nasty Nazis were so nasty, that no one ever suggested naming a biscuit after them. It would never have sold. People might have expected there to be a cyanide pill inside, or worse. Napoleon famously of course had a brandy named after himself!)