Human Honeymoon

“No idea!” Lore smiled as they inserted the key into the lock. “But come on, how often do think things like this are going to happen? And anyway, it’s only for a few days.” Lore set the keys down on the top.
“Only a few days of our honeymoon. I’m not quite versed in all of the minutia of this but usually it’s just the couple not the couple and some teenage girl who’s interviewing them.”
“That’s better.” Lore removed their arm and cast it aside onto the sofa. “Honeymoons are usually not a month long. We’ll still have plenty of time to have fun, just the two of us.” Lore gave a suggestive wink despite both of them knowing that nothing like that would happen. “And it might be fun. Good practice too?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tay overheard Char and Lore talking and decided to wait just outside.
“We’re going to be parents one day so we might as well get some practice being parents with a teenager. It’s much easier because when we talk she’ll actually understand us.” Lore smiled and gave a quick thumbs up. Char nodded. “You can come in now.”
“How did you know?” A guilty Tay entered the house.
“You left the door open. Not too subtle.”
“Fine, you can stay with us but only to the end of this week.” Char gave a slight smile.
“Thanks!” Tay ran to Char but stopped short. She turned and continued to Lore. “Thank you Lore.” She smiled and wrapped her arms around them. “So, what’s the plan?”
“Well, we were going to do a few things off of Lore’s list.” Char removed a folded sheet of paper. Lore took out their own copy.
“We’ve done the first thing so… tick.” They crossed off ‘See film about cats with hats.’ “We could go swimming. Always wanted to do that.” Tay didn’t look too pleased at that prospect.
“Maybe you should do that one when I’ve left.” She looked quickly between Lore and Char. “No. No. No. Not a big swimmer. Used to love it but now, not so much.”
“Fine,” Lore put their hand on her shoulder with a smile. Despite the near papercut, Tay calmed down. “How about a trip to a castle? There’s a nicely preserved Norman one down the road?”
“Norman?”
“It’s the name of the period in which it was built. The castle was built in ten sixty eight so was built under the Norman King William.” Lore’s pre-reading was still impressing Char.
“Sounds interesting, what else?” Despite having a good idea of how this honeymoon would turn out, Char had hoped it would be a bit more intimate.
“There’s a zoo not too far away?”
“Is that all you can think of?” Char gently swayed her body as if to draw Lore into the more personal section of the list.
“Beach? Pub? What?” The swaying was rather off putting and confused Lore.
“Fine. We’ll go to the Castle tomorrow. I’m off to get changed.” Char disappeared upstairs.
While she was getting changed, Lore decided to prepare a meal for the three of them. The recipe was designed for two but with a few alterations, they were confident that there would be enough. The heat of the pan carried the aromatic scent of the garlic as it slowly roasted along-side the other ingredients. Joining the garlic came several spice laden tea and table spoons with a generous helping of yoghurt. Chicken cooked and incorporated, all that was left was the rice. Cooking with one arm was easier with Tay by their side and with only one major setback, the curry was finished. After plating their creation, Lore shouted up to Char, inviting her to dinner.
“Smells interesting, almost like my dad’s Cyrppe.” Char looked at her plate and smiled. “Looks like my Dad’s Cyrppe.”
“I’ll leave you two to enjoy your dinner.” Tay scraped her meal into a clear plastic box before scurrying to her room.
“Okay… It’s Chicken Tikka Massala. One of the staple foods of England. It might taste a bit strange but it is my first time actually cooking it so, you know, go easy on me.”
The lumpy orange sauce came together with the rice to form an edible paste but it was far from the curry Lore was trying to make. Despite this, they were enjoying the meal.
“You say the locals eat this stuff?” Char had already finished her third glass of wine and was preparing to drain the remainder of the bottle. “I’ve had milder conversations with my mother.” Char choked down her mouthful before bypassing her glass and drinking straight from the bottle.
“Try this. It’s milk, people say it’s the best cure for spice.” Lore used their detached arm to reach into the fridge without leaving their meal. “I think it’s rather nice.” They poured Char a glass of milk.
Within moments, that glass too was drained and much to Char’s pleasure, the spicy burning had subsided. “Thanks. When you say milk, you mean like what we have on The Destiny?”
“No. It’s from a cow.” Char’s face dropped. “What’s the matter?”
“You drink actual cow’s milk? I thought it was just a name you gave because it was similar to human milk!”
“Why would we drink human milk?”
“Because it’s designed for you!” Their argument was disrupted by the reappearance of Tay.
“Thanks for the curry. One of the better ones I’ve had.” She smiled.
“Come in. If anyone can hear me please respond.” Brian’s voice crossed the room. Lore walked to their arm and tapped their Breacher.
“Brian, we’re just getting settled, can this wait?” Char shouted over.
“We’ve got a problem. I need you back here now. I don’t know where anyone is.” There was panic in his voice. All Gone.