What are you going to do about it?

I stood staring out over the line from my slightly raised position. The yellow stairs gave me about four feet of extra height, enough to see most of the operators at their stations, moving according to their standard work, completing their portion of each unit as they moved down the line. The pallets moved slowly on from each station as our demand counter slowly ticked up. Demand always outpaced our actual amount. I stood watching the little red numbers, momentarily removed from the whirlwind of activities I was constantly caught up in. My mind was spinning with how many problems there were.

Overall Efficiency at fifty-eight percent. Not going to make a shipment in a couple hours. My legs hurt and my head ached, mostly from the stress. It had been seven hours into the shift, and I hadn’t taken a break, staying over on lunch to push the few pallets I could around the line. My knees started to sag, and I sat down on the top step, just hidden from the nearest operator station. I pulled off my gloves, dripping with oil and put my head into my greasy hands.

I breathed, but they were racking breathes full of despair. I thought of different scenarios and what I could do to fix this, my mind steadily drawing a blank. The sounds of the line filled the air around me, chains rattling, metal slamming, robots whirring. It was almost peaceful if you didn’t know how awful we were running. ‘Hey, are you okay?’ I jumped, shocked to hear a voice so close. A short Hispanic man stood on the set of stairs a few feet from my own, leaning over. He wore a polo shirt and nice jeans, a planner held in his left hand, the equipment of a supervisor.

This was my boss, Evan. I couldn’t muster the personality I normally took on so he would think I’m a friendly go getter and instead I just stared.

‘I’m really unhappy with the performance of my team,’ I said, feeling numb as the words came out. I wanted to scream and shout about how they weren’t trying, about how I couldn’t fix it and I don’t know what to do. Evan stared at me levelly for a moment, ‘What are you going to do about it?’ He turned and walked away without looking back.

“What am I going to do about it?” I asked myself, again and again. Time passed with me sitting there in my secluded little spot as my head spun faster and faster. Suddenly a blaring alarm broke through my thoughts, signaling the beginning of our last break. I glanced through the mess of a robot cage and saw operators walking towards my position down the line and I quickly stood. They passed me, glancing as I stood with hands on hips and tried to look authoritative.

I could hear them murmuring about me as they passed, quietly but not so quietly calling me a useless prat. I slunk along behind them, heading to the sagging folding table that was my workstation when the line wasn’t running. I glanced again at the red blinking numbers that stared up from my laptop screen and groaned inwardly. My stomach was aching with nervousness and despair.

What was I going to tell Evan? What was I going to do about it? I wracked my mind until I heard the buzzer again, signaling that fifteen minute had passed and it was time to go back to work. I glanced down towards the notice board where I posted the job rotation before each quarter, gasping as I saw a crowd milling around the board.

I had forgotten to make the rotation, and now the line was losing time because of me. I felt my throat grow tight as I marched quickly towards the group. I grabbed the paper and began to search it for options, praying to see something easy and make it fall into place. Questions flew around me, suggestions from my operators ringing in my ears and jumbling together in my brain. I knew it was for the best but I couldn’t think at all through all the noise.

“Jacob!” I glanced up, the crowd parting to make way for Evan. “What’s going on around here?” he demanded, walking straight up to me. I started, unable to answer.

Finally, glaring into his shrewd and calculating face I found the answer. It all clicked into place.

“Evan, I was just about to say, you can make the next rotation. Also, that I don’t believe that this position is really for me. Also, you’re an asshole and you could really do a lot more to support your employees. I’m drowning over here and you have offered me nothing but criticism and it has absolutely made me hate my job.”

Evan’s eyebrows had steadily raised to the point I thought they’d disappear into his hairline.

“Is that really how you feel, Jacob?” I glanced down at the rotation sheet, my chicken scratch staining three out of the four columns with names and jobs listed down the side. I thought about going back, making the list and working the line, and then I thought about getting the hell out.

            “Evan, it’s been a real nightmare working with you and as far as I’m concerned you and this place can go straight to hell. I do wish you the best. I’m going to go do something incredible.”

“And that’s how I ended up here,” I concluded, grinning widely around the campfire at the three other men who sat there.

I leaned back into the log I’d pushed up by the fire, resting an arm on my oversized backpack. The other three men looked similarly to me, all dressed in hiking boots and gear, most with a dirty look even though we’d only been on the trail two days.

“So, what gave you the idea to do this?” The man on my left asked. He was older and his beard had flecks of grey in it. The other two were brothers, both with curly sandy hair and a windswept appearance. I thought they were in their early 20s like myself.

“One of my friends did it a few years ago. It’s funny, they actually invited me along. But… I didn’t come at the time. I had to take care of my Mom, you see, and I was trying to start college.”

One of the sandy haired boys stirred, “Did you graduate, then?”
I sighed, “I actually dropped out in my second semester. With the job… It was just too much.”
“Why didn’t you quit the job?” The other boy chimed in.

“I needed the money to help take care of my Mom. She… she was sick,” I said, my voice trailing away. I tried not to think much about her because I usually cried when I did. I really didn’t want to cry right then in front of these strangers.

“Was? So she died?” The first boy asked, before being elbowed by his brother. “Don’t be an asshole,” the second hissed.

“Yeah, actually she did. So, I don’t have anyone anymore. And there’s nothing holding me back,” I said. “There’s nothing keeping me from doing something amazing, and I think hiking the AT is going to be pretty amazing,” I said, looking excitedly around.

All three cracked a smile and we moved on, talking about our hometowns and why we were there. That night, I fell asleep under the chill air under the stars, finally feeling like I’d made the right choice.