A Potted History of Putin and the Ancestry of the Russian State! (In Poetic Form) According to Alfred N.Muggins

Written : 25/2/22 (One day after the invasion of Ukraine began, as The Emperor Putinpot Restores The Empire)

Edited : 3/3 2022

 

Featuring :-

Vladimir the Hero,

Tarzan the brave,

the All seeing and all knowing ‘democratic’ despotism.

The Prime Man of Our Times,

Russia’s Supreme (and only) Tactician (it seems!).

 

And his erstwhile pet sidekick Liar Lavrov (a Right Proper Gander!)

 

Ostracise the Ostrich running amok in Europe, and his billionaire henchmen. (they have surely bled the old empire dry with their ill gotten liquid and non liquid assets, which apparently they hide all over the world, but particularly in London, according to a rumour, which has become quite prevalent in the Press!)

 

Putinpot can no longer hold his thoughts in his pants,

and is busy preaching the benefits of state re-education,

a throwback to his early life and career as a KGB operative.

How many people did you kill while you worked for the Soviet Empire?

You have been preprogrammed to reinstate that big hot air balloon!

Recreate! Recreate the Past!

Return it to the present!

The 21^st Century is apparently not yet ready for progress and is in great need of a few more missile strikes, followed by a strong dose of re-education!

 

You have spent enough time planning your next chess move,

and consolidating your earlier successes.

It’s time now for the big one.

The private garden of the Soviet Union,

the place where abundant food is normally grown,

except in the time of Stalin, when he didn’t quite get the incentives right and 3,900,000 people starved to death.

If the workers are not paid right they aren’t going to produce!

Stalin certainly proved that one.

(But forget all about that, It doesn’t matter now!!)

 

But I digress.

That wasn’t Putin’s fault and he has gone back to an earlier time,

re-embracing the Eastern Orthodox Church and Capitalism,

as long as the big money remains in the hands of himself and his cronies, miraculously collected from the old State Enterprises.

 

To be fair he did actually do a good job of bringing the gangs and the first oligarchs into line.

After the immediate end of the Soviet Empire they took Capitalism just a little too seriously,

and while the Party Hacks cornered the State Enterprises, the ordinary people descended towards poverty,

which the wonderful Soviet System had kept at bay!

 

Gang violence was brought under control and employments improved,

and ordinary citizens began to see stability and economic benefits!

Russia did become a lot more like the prosperous western nation it was supposed to be able to emulate.

He was youngish, for a leader,

He could communicate with potentates from all over the globe on equal terms,

and managed to persuade everyone that he did buy into the New World Order of Capitalism and Money, and Democracy.

So he has been an acceptable and successful leader!

 

But it seems he always harboured thoughts of Restoration,

the Restoration of Russian Empire, or Soviet Empire, call it what you will.

To his preprogrammed mind the splitting of the Union had been hasty.

Russia gave away the advantages and the territories she should have held onto.

 

And so here we are:-

the Rubicon has finally been crossed,

after two weeks or more of pretending that you only wanted recognition for the Donbas regions occupied by the Russian separatists, in the Donetsk and Luhansk regions, and for Crimea, which was annexed in 2014!

As soon as you ratified their proper independence from Ukraine you sent soldiers and tanks into various parts of Ukraine at the same time,

conquering territories and damaging the Ukrainian civil and military infrastructures as they went.

And the rest will be history very soon, but at present is still occurring,

but we may well be able to guess some of it.

 

 

Like the Viking Rus of the 9^thCentury, they came, they saw and they conquered, founding the original Russia, in non other place than modern day Kiev, the current Capital of the Ukrainian state! Ironic is it not? Like many Vikings they presumably took their Slavonic brides and created many offspring, rising in power through the ages until the Russian Empire came to exist based in Muscovy, further north and further East.